Viva Lost Wages

So, this morning I returned from the fabulous Las Vegas at the buttcrack of dawn. Let me assure you all, I look like death. Or, Amy Winehouse. Same thing. I reek of cigarettes and my eyes are burning, plus I’m wearing all black. Hot.

Anyways, as usual, the Silverman family cannot behave normally anywhere we go, and that always makes for an exciting recap of our trip, so I thought I’d share some tidbits from the weekend.

One particular highlight was the following – while shopping in the Forum Shops, my mom and I came across an interesting spectacle… in the midst of the madness that was the mall two days before Christmas, one mother thought it was perfectly acceptable for her tiny two year old Japanese baby to stretch out in the middle of the aisle and lay down for a huge Silent Tantrum. The mother also did not find it necessary to remove her child from this position, causing shoppers to step OVER the little worm, go around her, etc etc. My words do not do this image justice, and of course, as I was fumbling for my camera, the tiny child stood up for a huge Loud Tantrum. I then lost interest and ran away.

Have any of you ever played the giant Wheel of Fortune? It is absolutely my new favorite, almost on par with Liberty Bell (AMAZING, btw, and apparently randomly only found at the Flamingo, which, by the way, = the new United Nations). Basically, you sit around this enormous wheel and play a video slot of WoF, and if you win three bonus’s in a row, the wheel actually spins. One time my mom and I won 1000 on the wheel! Which was fabulous except it was all in nickels and we couldn’t even figure out how much that was so we lost it all. Oops. Anyways, the only issue I have with this amazing game is that it is SO RANDOM. Literally, I can spin the wheel and twenty blinking Wheel of Fortunes can start spinning on screen, and that will only be 9 credits, but I can spin it again and get one orange, three bananas, a New York sign and 3 Pat Sajacks and I literally get 458 points. SO RANDOM.

Oh, I have another issue with WoF – this random Iranian woman who did not speak English sat next to us, didn’t understand how to play, and, after my mom explained it to her, promptly got to spin and won the thousand points. Cool. Not.

Oooh, another fun part! We were in the elevator and this poor crying drunk woman gets on wearing a furry scarf and a shitload of smeared makeup crying that “the 21st floor did not use to have pink carpet!” She is clearly lost. Of course my bleeding heart mother proceeds to ask what is wrong and the drunk starts hysterically crying and wheezing that she has just broken up with her boyfriend, she doesn’t know where any of her stuff is, and she can’t find her room. I innocently ask her if she knows what hotel she is in, which makes her cry harder, which results in me getting a dirty look from my mother. This story ends with me, horrified/delighted but standing ALONE in the lobby while my mom escorts the drunk to the front desk. “Oh, you are so sweet for helping me, god bless you, blah blah blah.” Yes, god bless my mother indeed, for she is kind to drunks in furry accessories.

This is long, so here is my mini review of Craft: delicious as always. My mom and I usually get the same thing everytime we come here, but this time, we decided to switch it up a little bit. I got an amazing mojito – so good that I did not allow the waiter to take it away as I was drinking the ice as it melted (“second drink”, trademark Pam). To start, I had barbequed prawns, and mama had the Persian cucumber salad. Both were delicious – I would never NOT order the prawns but I will say that her salad was one of the most delicious I have ever tasted, and you all know I do NOT eat salad (as I am a girl not a rabbit). For dinner, we split the hangar steak, and got roasted fingerling potatoes, brussel sprouts, and the mixed hen of the woods/oyster mushrooms on the side. We had never had the potatoes or bsprouts before – we liked the potatoes a LOT (very crispy and covered in sea salt) but were not such fans of the sprouts (they were kind of heavy and the taste of prosciutto was too overpowering). As usual, the steak was amazing and the mushrooms were BOMB. Prob the best mushrooms I’ve ever had. I’d post a picture but we all know my sister would flip a shit and throw her new computer on the floor/puke on it, so I’ll refrain.

While we were there we also made fun of cocktail waitresses, tortured a handsome gay salesboy in Scoop, made a large scene in Canaletto, hit on a busboy, and lost a shitload of money. We’re going back in a month when Bay turns 21 so look forward to another fun/retarded review of the FABULOUS Las Vegas.

Merry Christmas ya’ll!