An Ode to Jake

Remember when my bracket was fucking amazing? Yeah, those days are long gone. Mine SUCKS. Now I won’t win any money and I won’t get to buy new shoes. F. I had picked Memphis to lose this round (I’m SORRY, Jacob!) and since they didn’t, I will now root for them, since I could care less about any of the other teams left. So, go Memphis! Make Jacob’s year/life please and win.

I am SO excited because my new couch is being delivered on Wednesday! Although that might not be the best thing, since it is so unbelievably comfortable I might abandon my social life and just lay in it at every spare moment. I special-ordered it from Z Gallerie (yet another Jacob favorite), and although unfortunately it did not come in hot pink (boo), I chose a fabulous dark dark dark brown velvety squishy fabric and I will just accessorize with pink pillows or a pink blanky. It’s called the Cuddler Couch and this is what it looks like:



Yesterday, Benjamin traveled to Brentwood to take me out for din, and we ate at this new restaurant Crazy Fish. It is a sushi restaurant with a revolving belt, and you can take whatever you want off the conveyer belt as it flies by you. The cool thing about this place is that the conveyer belt is time-controlled, so if the sushi is on the belt for more than an hour, it automatically takes itself off the belt! COOLNESS. To be honest the sushi was just okay according to my standards, but I am a total sushi snob. I think other people like it – the place was packed last night at 8:30 on a Sunday.

Currently Ali and I are watching The Hills in bed. We knew the She-Pratt was going to be on this episode so we HAD to watch together because we are terrified of the She-Pratt. Five seconds ago I told Ali that the She-Pratt was addicted to meth and Ali was surprised. I don’t know why she was surprised because she totally looks like a meth freak. In other The Hills news, Jacob is now a convert. ALSO, I believe this is the episode where they have the conversation between Heidi and her friend at Food Court LA, and Bailey and I were NOT IN IT. BOO.

Also, I leave for March of the Living exactly four weeks from today. I can’t believe it! I had another orientation last Sunday with the entire staff and all the kids. I was asked to do check-in and when I was sitting at the table, all of them kept coming up to me and telling me their last names, and I was like, "I know your sister. I know your brother. I know your cousin." In short, I felt OLD.

Anywho, I am off to blowdry my hair and watch GIRLICIOUS. I know, I need a hobby. Maybe I should take up knitting? Or softball? I'm open to suggestions...

Dumplings and the DFWF Seal of Approval

By my count I have stayed in Los Angeles for the past three weekends and already I am dying to get on a plane and go travel somewhere. As of right now, the next trip I have booked is March of the Living to Poland and Israel, and that’s not til the END of April! Excuse me while I go check Ding. I need to go somewhere, fast. I’m open for suggestions. Anyone down for Vegas?

So yesterday I went to Costco, which was less stellar than usual, in part because there was a total lack of sample tables, and also because I did not leave with a hot dog in my tummy. To make matters worse, 50% of the reason why I was there was to purchase Asian pears, and when I opened my trunk upon returning home ALL THE PEARS FELL OUT OF MY CAR and bounced into the street. I was NOT pleased, but I plan on eating them anyways. I already washed them! No germs. Five second rule!

I miss Bailey the Tiny Foumart. Right now she is on spring break in Thailand. Everytime I think about her in Thailand, I start to want a dumpling. Basically I have been craving dumplings since Sunday night and I think I need to just go get one already. Unfortunately, LA is not exactly known for their delicious Chinese food, and the kind of dumpling I want (specifically, a soup dumpling – the kind where you eat it on a spoon and when you take a tiny bite all the hot soup comes pouring out, and it is DELICIOUS and you don’t even care if you burn your tongue) is only available in New York at a total hole-in-wall in Chinatown. I am the type of person who takes cravings very seriously (I’m not only talking about food cravings, although those are of vital importance. Sometimes I crave a viewing of A League of Their Own or a trip to Bloomingdales). You only live once – indulge your cravings.

Speaking of food in New York, I just got my hands on a FABULOUS book – Garlic & Sapphires. It’s by Ruth Reichl, the current editor of Gourmet magazine, who writes about her experiences as the New York Times Restaurant Critic, and it is so awesome! I’m only three chapters in and already it has earned the Don’t Fuck with Fabulous Seal of Approval. Now that I have mentioned the DFWF Seal of Approval I will give a few more out, as I am feeling generous.

Things that have earned the DFWF Seal of Approval lately:
- linen pants
- a capella groups
- LA weather
- Sprinkles Cupcakes making kosher for Passover cupcakes
- my new IKEA dresser

I just realized that basically this entire blog post is a tangent. On dumplings of all things.

By writing this, I am postponing cleaning my room, which I have been putting off for about a week now. I have plans to get a Pinkberry with Abby tonight, but I have already informed her that I am not allowing myself to leave my room until I vaccum, clean my closet, hang up all the clothes from the floor, and build my new shoerack. Needless to say there is a chance I will NOT be having Pinkberry with Abby.

I am off. Please wear pink tomorrow as it is Wednesday and you know what we do on Wednesdays!

A Bachelorette Party Weekend for A.S.S.

Well, I started MY week off right, walking out the door and grabbing a can of Diet Coke to drink at my desk as I do literally every morning. Imagine my pleasant surprise when I got to work and realized I had taken a can of Budlight. There’s really nothing like a refreshing sip of yeasty beer foam when you’re expecting a delicious mouthful of DC.

A quick update on my bracket: as of this morning around 11:30 AM, I am in first place in my Facebook group with a score of 161 out of a possible 192. I literally have no idea what that means but I wanted to share that information so that I can brag about it. I hope I win so I can remind Jeremy about this for the next, oh, twelve or so years.

I also stand by my decision to select the Youngstown State Penguins as my most Despised Team on Facebook. The Penguins THE new team – they are rapidly gaining notoriety and I personally will not be surprised if they win the entire NCAA tournament next year. PENG DOWN everyone.

Anyways, I’ll stop effing around and get down to business. Anna’s bachelorette party was this weekend and let me tell you, it was a roaring success!

Everyone got in at various times on Friday – after I got out of work at 3:30, I stopped at Sprinkles Cupcakes for 16 delicious treats and hauled the loot over to Culver City, where I greeted all my pals and some of Anna’s camp friends. After collecting Greene and Julie (who, along with Stacy, all stayed at my apartment and will henceforth be known as “my bitches”) we headed to Brentwood, got ready, then trekked BACK to Culver City. All in rush hour on a Friday. Good times, let me tell you. Anyways, we spent Friday night in at Anna’s house, eating delicious Tender Greens catering, drinking wine, taking photos, and playing bachelorette party games that revealed a great deal of embarrassing information about Anna’s life prior to meeting Big E.

Saturday morning we woke up BRIGHT AND EARLY and headed off to The Lounge Spa for some major pamperage. Everyone changed into sexy white waffle robes and squeaky slippers and looked insanely hot, obviously. I got a massage which was fairly good, but left me with some lingering back pain. I don’t know why I insist on getting massages – I HATE BEING TOUCHED. The spa was super cute and had all these personal touches, my favorite being the little crown/veil combo they gave Anna to wear. Note to my bitches and others who will be at my bachelorette party in the future: I want one of those to wear the whole weekend.

Oh for gods sake, who am I kidding? I want one to wear from the moment the engagement ring is on my finger.

Anyways, after the spa, we drove over to Third Street Promenade. Though I warned the guests about the dangers of the Santa Monica Beach, everyone refused to listen, preferring to risk stepping on crack needles in their quest to lay out and get tan. Greene and I (the sensible ones) spent a great deal of time in the brand new Forever 21, which is FANTASTIC, and then strolled around with Mimi before collecting the group of slightly tan non-crack addicts from the beach. After that, I took my bitches to In-n-Out, where we feasted on delicious cheeseburgers and I hogged all the spread.

On to Saturday night! We got picked up at my apartment by a HUGELY GINORMOUS Escalade limo (thank you Earle Schwarz), and we piled in and started drinking and blowing on party horns. Joy put a hat with sparkly penises on Anna’s head and we were off! First, Anna’s mom Patricia treated us all to dinner at Lola’s in Hollywood, which was delish (thank you Patricia!). Half the table ordered pizza for an appetizer, which resulted in the Major Pizza Surplus of 2008 (no worries, we consumed it at 2AM in the limo on the way home). Lola’s is famous for their martinis, and everyone was drinking interesting and delicious sounding martinis with the exception of Joy, who chose to order the Laker Martini with grape juice and was rewarded with a glass of Dimetapp. Better luck next time Joy. I myself had a delicious Pumpkin Martini which tasted like Thanksgiving.

After Lola’s the limo took us to Saddle Ranch, where Anna surprised none of us by refusing to get on the mechanical bull. Luckily, Julie has balls whereas the rest of us don’t, and she and Mimi took one for the team and rode the bull! It was awesome and photos will be up on FB shortly for those of you who were interested. After Saddle Ranch, our next stop was Busby’s on Wilshire.

Now let me say this about Busbys: it sucks now. Used to be totally fun and packed and crowded, now it is empty and the only people who go there are totally ghetto and weird. But we wanted to dance, and they have a huge dance floor – perfect for our purposes. Unfortunately, we did not take into consideration the fact that creepy ugly boys are drawn to bachelorette parties like moths to the flame, so virtually ALL our dancing was being constantly interrupted by a sorry looking parade of losers, including a tiny little boy (about 5 feet tall), his Spencer Pratt looking friend, and this ridiculously obese sweaty FREAK who clearly thought he was Janet Jackson. Upon realizing those three knew each other, I firmly told the tiny one, “STAY AWAY,” but this did not work as planned.

Once I had verbally addressed him, he latched on to me and FOLLOWED ME AROUND THE ENTIRE DANCE FLOOR FOR THE NEXT HALF HOUR, SINGING EVERY SINGLE WORD TO EVERY SINGLE SONG and trying to find out my personal information. My friends thought this was very funny and Julie pointed out that this is what she feels like every day, staring down at short boys. I was not amused. Even the surprise appearance by special guest star David Phillips was not enough to put a smile on my face, because EVEN AS I HUGGED HIM, the tiny freak remained faithfully by my side. Ugh. I finally got rid of him when we left and the limo delivered us safely home where we all passed out.

Sunday was sad with all the goodbyes :( but all in all it was a fabulous weekend and I believe Miss ASS (Anna Schwarz Shabtay – HAHAHAHA) had a great time with all her best pals. Now we all know each other and can’t wait to see each other at the wedding, which is SO SOON! AHHH I need to go buy a new fabulous dress!

One quick bit of business before I wrap this up: SARA LEIB, PLEASE CALL/EMAIL ME. You have my contact information and I do not have yours. I know you read this blog regularly because you comment on it all the time (which I LOVE) so please contact me when you see this. THANK YOU!

Behind the Scenes of American Idol!!

So, American Idol was super fab. We had an amazing time and learned many new things about our favorite show. As a special treat for all of you out there, my dear pal Jennifer Leigh Greene has offered to write a SPECIAL GUEST BLOG detailing our experiences at the live taping. So, without further ado, here is Greene! (Don't worry, I will be popping in with periodic interruptions and announcements!)

Guest blogger Jennifer Greene reporting LIVE… not from American Idol, but from Jordan’s room :) BUT don’t worry, I have all of the American Idol scoop from tonight’s LIVE results show!

We begin at 3:15 p.m. with Jordan and me getting in line for the big show. We were quite excited at this point, but after a while, we got pretty bored with our surroundings, as we were standing in line on Beverly for about an hour and a half. Naturally, we begin to comment on the people around us. So, how do I say this nicely? We might have been two of the best looking people there. Not going to lie… there were some ‘not so cute’ folks there people. I mean, you might be on national television… what’s with the t-shirt and jeans? Fix yourself up a bit.. seriously! In addition, there were other things that were not so cute, but I don’t think those people can help that. AS IN THEIR SMOOSHED FACES -- JORDAN

Moving on, we start talking to the people around us and realize that this girl looks EXACTLY like Kristin Wiig from SNL. Seriously, she could be her twin. Unfortunately she did not know who Kristin Wiig is, but she took the compliment nonetheless. Anyway, after standing outside and being cold and hungry for quite some time, Jordan begins to peek through the bushes like a little spy. Just as she does this, we start moving. Then we stop. So I tell her, after a few more minutes, to put her face back in the bushes. Again, we begin to move. Amazing. Weird, but amazing. EXACTLY LIKE ME! WEIRD BUT AMAZING -- JORDAN

At about 4:45-5 p.m. we are let into the CBS lot only to stand around some more, but not before walking by Amanda Overmeyer who was sitting on the steps smoking a cig. Kinda cool :) So then we get our wristbands, go through security and then sit on these benches for about 4 minutes. We are FINALLY let into the theater and we are jumping around backstage. We walk in and it is SO much smaller than it looks on TV. They tell us where to sit and we are CLOSE… like diagonal from Simon Cowell. Paula Abdul was so nice, giving everyone hugs, and Simon and Randy were cool too. We were very pleased with our seats, ESPECIALLY when I realized that we were sitting next to Kevin Covais, contestant on Idol Season 5. You might remember him as “Chicken Little.” I almost said something to him, but I didn’t. So we were told that they were going to tape the pre-show, which included the segment with Ryan Seacrest taking the viewer calls and Kellie Pickler’s performance. If you look CLOSELY during her performance, you can see me and Jor (if you pause the TiVo :) ) LIL PICK!!! WE MISSED YOU. YOUR HAIR LOOKS FAB! - JORDAN

After that segment we were kindly asked to vacate our seats so that people with actual tickets could sit there. Irritated, we got up and followed the girl to our new seats. About 10 rows up. Not camera territory but a better overall view, so it was ok. At 6 p.m. sharp we began shooting the LIVE show. It was really exciting, but it made me feel like it wasn’t as “real” as when I watch it on TV… which is weird. I would think it’d be the other way around, but oh well.

During the commercials, the judges went backstage, and this guy came out to entertain the crowd. He brought up some audience members to do a “Singing Bee” type-thing and other activities. The saddest part was when they said that Carly Smithson was in the bottom 3. So shocked, Jordan and I look at each other with our mouths open saying Oh My God! She definitely needed a bunch of tissues, and she also got some love from Nigel Lithgow who was there as well (the ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ judge, for those who are not aware, he works on both shows, among other things). POOR CARLY! SHE CRIED SO HARD. WE WAVED TO HER TO CHEER HER UP. - JORDAN

Kristy Lee Cook was next (no surprise), but then it was Amanda Overmeyer. Sorry to those who haven’t seen it yet (seriously, get on that, it’s a results show for crying out loud!), Amanda got kicked-off. NOT Kristy. Definitely another shocker. But, we did get to rock out to her singing “Back in the USSR” by The Beatles. And the song is still in our heads… as well as “Red High Heels” by Kellie Pickler. STUPID KRISTY LEE COOK! SHE IS GOING TO RUIN THE TOUR. - JORDAN

At 7 p.m. the show was over and we left the studio. Definitely an exciting evening! We wrapped it up with dinner at The Farm and a trip to Pinkberry (obv). Great night!

GREAT NIGHT INDEED! Tomorrow we go see Wicked. Maybe Greene will kindly grace us with some more words of wisdom tomorrow night. Or maybe she will refuse, and spend the evening in bed crying tears of joy and listening to Defying Gravity. WHO KNOWS?!

Midway Through the Madness

For some reason, I was totally exhausted last night and crawled into bed at 10:30 and passed out, so: no blog yesterday. Sorry!

So this weekend I went to my beach house in Newport for a night… that was fun. Went shopping on Fashion Island and got some good stuff because Bloomingdales was having a sick sale. Saturday night the parentals and I saw a movie (The Bank Job – it was decent) and went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner (I tried a new dish – the Hibachi Steak, which is basically my new favorite thing on earth) before heading back to LA. Yesterday I had my first March of the Living meeting with all the kids, so it was nice meeting everyone who I’ll be spending two weeks with SO soon! We also had the opportunity to meet the 8 survivors who will be going on the trip with us. They were all so excited about meeting us, going on the trip with us, and telling us their stories. (They kind of reminded me of puppies – they were ADORABLE and kind of kept running around and hopping up and down and trying to talk over each other.)

Currently, I am trying to figure out exactly what goes into creating a bracket, because I want to do March Madness like all my friends do. Last year, I apparently missed the boat on that one, and was very disappointed to find out that I could not join midway through the Madness… which makes sense now that I think about it. (Also, I am loving that term – “midway through the madness.” I will be using it again frequently.) I am going to fill one out on Facebook and one for my pool at work!

I have been asking all my well informed basketball minded friends (both male and female – I do not discriminate and I know very well that Julie Rubenstein is much like a man when it comes to basketball obsessions) about their March Madness picks. However, Jeremy thinks that “people like me” who know next to nothing about sports and basically pick winners based on the colors of the jerseys or some retarded shit like that are always the ones who win. So, instead of doing what is probably the logical thing to do and going on ESPN.com or Sports Illustrated, I will pick based purely on absolutely nothing and go with my gut instinct. I will give you a lovely example – Arizona plays West Virginia in the first round. Those of you who know me well know that I am a firm believer that WEST VIRGINIA DOES NOT EXIST. By this logic, Arizona cannot lose against a team that does not exist and therefore will win this round. Beautiful. You can’t argue with that.

Anyways, I am SO excited for the events of the next couple of days! American Idol live taping on Wednesday, Katsuya Hollywood (for my first time) and Wicked on Thursday, then fun all weekend with my pals :) I am a lucky girl!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me reenact for you all part of the best phone call I have ever had in my entire life:

Greene: "Umm.... hi."

Me: "Hi, whats up?"

G: "Um, so I just got this email..."

M: “Yeah, what does it say?”
G: “Well it says something about American Idol.”
M: “Cool. So?”
G: “Well, it says that I’m eligible for tickets to a live taping of American Idol because my name was next on the waiting list.”
M: “You’re on an American Idol ticket waiting list?”
G: “Yeah, I’ve been on it for about a year and a half.”
M: “Oh my god.”
G: “And they’re offering me two tickets to one of next week’s shows.”
M: “Next week, as in the day before you’re already coming to Los Angeles?”
G: “Yeah…”
M: “OH MY FUCKING GOD. WE ARE GOING TO AMERICAN IDOL. RESPOND TO THE EMAIL RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND. GET ON THE PHONE TO SOUTHWEST AND CHANGE YOUR FUCKING FLIGHT BECAUSE WE ARE FUCKING GOING TO THE LIVE TAPING OF AMERICAN FUCKING IDOL.”

So basically to make a really long story short, Greene RANDOMLY got this email telling her she has tickets for next week’s performance, and it is COINCIDENTALLY one night before she was already coming here for Anna’s bachelorette party.

So, after a great deal of screaming and shrieking and flight changing and me giving her part of my free ticket which she will pay back at the end of the year/after she books three more round trip flights…

WE ARE GOING TO SEE OUR FAVORITE FUCKING SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED I FEEL LIKE PASSING OUT. CONGRATULATIONS GREENE I AM OFFICIALLY YOUR LIFE PARTNER AND TOTALLY INDEBTED TO YOU!

I. CANNOT. WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thinking about PIZZA... Mmmm!

I am incredibly annoyed with all the ridiculous political bashing that is taking place in the media, and I know it’s going to get even worse as the November election gets closer.



Today Geraldine Ferraro stepped down as a fundraiser for the Hillary Clinton campaign after she came under fire for several remarks she made to the LA newspaper The Daily Breeze about Barak Obama. These are her comments that pissed everyone in the Obama campaign off:



"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman, he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept."



In a second interview with the Breeze, she did not back down from what she said, and also said she felt that Hillary Clinton had been the victim of a “sexist media”, which is something I completely agree with. I really think Hillary Clinton is picked on and pulled apart for SO MANY THINGS that would not be an issue, period, if she was a man, including her hair, her clothes, the way she speaks, and the emotion she shows in public.



I’m not saying Ferraro’s comments were right – I’m saying that it seems ridiculous that everyone makes such a huge deal out of NOT mentioning the fact that Barak Obama is black (which: who cares?), and no one seems to have any problem with constantly and consistently pointing out that Hillary is a woman. So that's how I'm feeling about that. Moving on.



We have other things to talk about. Namely: TOP CHEF. OH YES.



I am even more excited for this season after seeing the first episode tonight. I loved the elimination challenge and thought it was very creative, and loved the Quickfire as well! It called for them to make their own deep dish pizza, in honor of Chicago, where this season was filmed. This Quickfire got me thinking about pizza and some of the best I've ever had... I would have to say my current favorite pizza is the seasonal one from Pitfire - it has buratta cheese, hazelnuts, pesto and tomato sauce, and arugula on it... mmmm. I also seem to remember a classically simple pizza that I ate in a 2nd story cafe in Rome next to the Spanish Steps which was pretty fabulous. Oh, and a seafood pizza we ate next to the Grand Canal in Venice! Okay, I've eaten a lot of pizza in my life. I can't pick a fave.



Mmmm... but anyways, the pizzas that everyone made seemed interesting for the most part. Someone made a Southern inspired pizza with peaches and sweet tea vinagrette which sounds strangely insanely good. Fabulous... it's 11pm and I am in the mood for pizza now... maybe I should try calling Osteria Mozza for like the seventieth time and try to get a fucking reservation.



Anthony Bourdain was one of the guest judges for this episode and as usual, I want to fucking marry him and make him cook for me every single day. I love Anthony Bourdain ridiculous amounts. I seriously think if you were to look the word "BADASS" up in the dictionary, his picture would be there leering up at you. If you live in a hole and don't know who he is, may God have mercy on you. Go buy this book right this second and maybe I'll talk to you again.



Anyways, too early to pick a fave yet but I think I like Antonia. She is a single mother and the other cheftestant from LA, plus she's executive chef of Foxtail restaurant, which is Sam Nazaria's new restaurant for SBE. Excited to try that. (Ooooh, also excited to try Luckyfish on Canon... more on that later.) Side note: the lesbians were adorable, and I am always down for lesbians on reality TV (remember Kim from Top Model? LOVED.)



Thinking ahead: a week from tomorrow Floff and Greene arrive early and we are going to see Wicked! And then everyone else comes for Anna's bachelorette party! Next weekend is going to fucking rock, I'm already excited :)



Have a good night everyone! I'm off to watch Idol results and pass out.

Let the Flames Begin!

Blechhhhhhh. I am sick. I woke up with a terrible sore throat and a general feeling of cloggy stuffy grossness in my head. I did not want to go to work but I made myself even though all I wanted to do was literally lie in bed watching The Office and not move – I do not like being a grownup.

So this weekend was fun… I went out to Central Hollywood on Friday night for Kevin Weiser’s birthday, and Saturday night to the Federation’s Purim party at The Roxy and the Parlor for Dan’s birthday. Good times were had by all. Good times were had again on Sunday night, when the parentals and I went to Sara & Elianna’s for a wine tasting party. I was pleased about this because it gave me an opportunity to wear my brand new hot pink glitter Kate Spade flats (which I had to take off as soon as we arrived because I forgot their policy of NO SHOES ALLOWED). Unfortunately when we showed up, I realized that in fact Sara had most likely only invited my parents to be polite (slash because she was drunk when she extended the invitation) and everyone else who was there was about 25 years younger than my parents. The night got even better as my dad began scarfing cheese, dissing the sake, and being otherwise charming. I insisted we take our leave after he drank ¾ of the bottle of Prosecco we brought and started tossing Triscuits in his mouth.

I am very upset about the recent deaths of two female college students from Georgia. In a freak coincidence, both Lauren Burk, from Auburn University, and Eve Carson, from UNC, were shot and killed less than 24 hours apart. For some reason, I feel connected to these two women – Lauren was Jewish and Eve was very involved on campus, like I was. Every time I read anything about these two women’s senseless murders, I get very angry and upset. Lauren Burk’s killer has already been apprehended, and they are looking for Eve’s based on a surveillance photo taken at an ATM. I know they will catch him soon and I hope they both rot in jail.

In other news, if you think I am obnoxious about my love for reality TV/my constant need to talk about American Idol, you better stop reading this right now, because tomorrow is the premiere of Top Chef Season 4, and I am LITERALLY quivering in my chair with excitement. Top Chef is BY FAR my favorite Bravo show EVER and I love every single thing about it. If I am still this big of a fan after the whole Season 2’s whole Marcel/Ilan/head shaving bullshit, you better believe that nothing in the world is ever going to get me to stop loving that show.

I have already fully stalked the new contestants, which you can do here too bravotv.com, and I am very excited about this group of cheftestants (copyright Keckler, TwoP) – they appear to be unbelievably talented. I think it’s high time for a woman to win (anything, Bravo, anything), so I will be paying close attention and seeing if I can spot any early potential winners. Speaking of winners, rumor has it that two of the women are actually partners (the lesbian kind, not the business kind, which is to say, the cool kind), which just made the whole thing even more amazing before the show even started. AHHH I CANNOT WAIT. JULIE I KNOW YOU’RE WITH ME ON THIS.

I am going to go take some Nyquil and pass out. No one wake me. (Wow, this feels like freshman year all over again!)

Karma

I wrote a really cool, long, interesting post for today, and I am refusing to post it out of protest. Instead, I want to say this: karma is a bitch.

What goes around comes around. Believe me, it is going to come around, and I can't wait to see what happens when it does.

Praying for Israel

Today I am praying for Israel, and for Jews all around the world who experience hatred and anti-Semitism on a regular basis.

Earlier today, a gunman opened fire inside the Mercaz HaRav Yeshiva in Jerusalem, killing eight innocent students and wounding countless others. And apparently, after the attack, Hamas militants and Palestinians in Gaza were reported to be celebrating in the streets, firing guns in the air, and giving prayers of thanks at local mosques.

Also, some of you may not know this, but recently, there has been a wave of violent anti-Semitism towards Jewish people in Los Angeles. Two weeks ago, a Molotov cocktail was thrown at The Jewish Federation’s campus in the Valley, and many Jewish homes and cars were vandalized and grafittied with anti-Semitic and anti-Jewish slurs.

It’s 2008 – when will this stop? I am sickened and saddened by all this hatred towards the Jewish people. I truly believe that the Jewish people in Israel and all over the world want only to live in peace. That’s it – to live in peace. We don’t want to be best friends with Palestinians or other races or religions who hate us – we just want to be able to live side by side, without conflict or argument or constant terror attacks.

I have to believe that one day, these kinds of attacks and violence will be a thing of the past. I have to believe that Palestinian families will stop teaching their children to hate Israelis from the moment they are born. I have to believe that peace is attainable, that one day, maybe not in my lifetime, the world will not view a Jewish state as constantly threatened and in a state of upheaval. We all have to believe these things, because if we don’t, who will?

So, today I pray for the families of those who were killed in Israel, and I pray for an end to the violence that continues to follow our people. I hope you all are praying too, because no matter who or what or where you are, no one deserves to die for what kind of God they believe in.

An Exciting Day :)

So I was romping around the valley last night so I did not get a chance to blog… sorry! It’s hard to sit down at the computer when you are distracted by an intense Battle of the Brains with your father concerning an episode of Cash Cab. Damn those Red Light Challenges.

So I’ll be totally honest – I have no fucking idea what happened last night in the primaries. I know that Obama won Vermont, but Hillary won the other three, including Texas and Ohio, except Texas hasn’t fully counted votes yet, because of something having to do with the caucus? I have no idea what’s going on. Why does Texas get voting and caucusing? That means their votes are counted twice and that is way not fair.

In other campaign news, Huckabee dropped out of the race, and John McCain officially became the Republican nominee for the 2008 presidential race. And this morning, George W. Bush endorsed him for president… yeeeeeeeahhhh. I shouldn’t even touch that. I know it’s my blog and I can say whatever I want but the whole thing grosses me out. For some reason the Republican party just seems so weird and incestual and closeted to me. I actually don’t hate John McCain but I do hate George Bush, so his endorsement just makes the whole thing awful in my eyes.

Instead, we can talk about reality TV, my absolute favorite subject. New season of America’s Next Top Model = coming along nice and trashy. I laughed out loud when that random blonde girl decided to take herself out of the competition because she doesn’t “believe in expensive clothes.” Honey, you don’t have to believe in them, you just have to wear them and look good. Although she probably couldn’t manage the second part, considering she looked like Reese Witherspoon would look if she got smashed in the face with a truck. Also, I know I say this every season but I am already obsessed with the plus-size model. Whitney is totally beautiful and I think she is the only one who actually looks like a model, rather than the backwoods trailer trash and transvestites Tyra plucked from the streets of Buttfuck, Idaho.

Quick Idol review – as always, David Archuleta is my boyfriend. I really want him to take me to senior prom! I would totally promise to behave and not be a weirdo or anything. Last week Marcela informed me that “chuleta” in Spanish means “little piece of pork”, and I now refer to David Archuleta as such. As in, “The little piece of pork is totally going to win American Idol so everyone else can just go home now.”

Also even though Jason Castro really freaks me out everytime I look at him (he IS PeeWee Herman. COME ON!), his song is the only one out of all of them that I downloaded from ITunes AND searched for the lyrics on Google (Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley, if you’re curious).

baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

So beautiful. I love that song and am going to be playing it nonstop. But anyway, Project Runway finale tonight! My money is on Jillian, partly because she’s good, partly because its time for a woman to win again (Bravo, I love you, but you’re KILLING ME with the male bias. If a woman doesn’t win Top Chef this year I’m gonna flip), and partly because it will be AMAZING to watch what Christian does if he doesn’t win. Can you imagine? He’s totally gonna lose it!

And other exciting news – TODAY I GOT A BONUS! GO ME :) I wonder what pair of shoes I can buy with my new money?!

The Triumphant Return

So here I am, back from a fab weekend in Tucson with my Floff!

Friday night, I arrived in the Tuc with trusty Darren by my side, and after a fabulous Floff reunion that involved jumping and hugging, we went to her apartment, where she fed me Cadbury eggs. We had dinner at Vivace, and I couldn’t resist texting Stacy to rub it in her face – sorry Stace. Dinner was super yum and afterwards, we pre-drank a little bit with Staypuft and Zach at Floff’s. It was so good to see both of them! They really looked great. Then the four of us headed over to DIRTBAGS!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH it was so good to be there! The bouncer, Mateo, looked at me and was like, “whoa, long time no see- go right in.” I briefly teared up but recovered so that I could drink, chit chat with pals, and dance retardedly to my favorite jukebox songs, including Madonna, Bruce Springsteen, and of COURSE, Sweet Caroline! They played it twice – it made me really miss FPC 03.

I took a TicTac, several soco shots, and of course, drank far too many vodka crans. One particular highlight: some random drunk was like, creepily leering at Tammy and me while we were sitting at the bar. Tammy and I were chatting with Jen (remember Jen, you guys!? Zach Silverman’s girlfriend?) and Tammy brilliantly motioned for Jen to get rid of the guy. Within SECONDS Jen was on the loudspeaker summoning security and the guy was tossed out on his ass (much like a particular Mitchell Penner ejection I remember fondly… sorry Mitch.) When they yelled last call, Zach dragged me away from the bar and we walked home, abducted Floff’s neighbor’s dog, and passed out.

Saturday, we woke up and drove into the foothills, because Floff wanted to take me to the new Jewish deli, Shlomos & Vitos. It was DELISH! Such a fab menu. Honestly, if we were still living there we would all be there every single day. We ate our knishes and pastrami sandwiches then hopped next door to La Encantada for some shopping. (Everyone who I’ve told this to is like “you went shopping in Tucson? Why?”) We then headed back to campus and walked around University a little bit – I can’t believe all the new things they’ve put! Very unfair. These bitches get a Which Wich and I had to eat Silvermine? Not cool!



Saturday night, we had our traditional Floff meal at Wildflower, where the smoked salmon latke was every bit as good as we remembered, JULIE, and then of course, went back to Dirtbags for round 2. We still had a ton of fun, but unfortunately it was Kappa Mom’s Weekend and Theta Dad’s Weekend and there were a lot of blond parental units from Newport Beach cramping my style. Floff decided we needed to leave early after I almost got into a fistfight with some bleached blond forty year old, and I reluctantly agreed (after peeing and seeing the LML FPC 03 graffiti in the bathroom. Who did that?! Nicely done!) I limped home with Floff and Floff boyfriend Scott, who held my hand and threatened to carry me if I did not stop limping. If my feet hadn’t hurt so bad, we would have gone to Local Dough, but I could barely stand, and as such, we settled for Jack in the Box. No BCWs, unfortunately. Apparently no Weight Watchers, either…

Sunday was ROYAL FAM LUNCH at Pei Wei with Rachel and Cid, which was amaaaazing – we had a major shit-talking sesh which was urgently needed. I went back to AEPHI to see everyone, which was so great! Everyone looks beautiful and the house looks fab and oddly enough, even KATHRYN was happy to see me (WTF?!). Then, an amazing thing happened – I stayed for the first recruitment practice with all the new girls! Carlye Gossen is the recruitment chair and she did a great job. I am completely confident that she (and they) will do fabulous in August. They did a “bounce-off” with “I wanna go AEPHI” and afterwards, I showed everyone the TORTUROUS routines we used to have to do -- “SO LONG! GOODBYE!” (cue handslap on knee…owww.) I quickly ran over to Pi Phi to see Dove, who I miss SO MUCH, and then Floff and I had a quick dinner at Paradise Bakery (also new on University – unbelievable!) and then she drove me to the airport.

I was sad to leave, but if I am going to be perfectly honest, it felt really weird being back there. I think that Homecoming was so atypical – everyone was in town, I was running around trying to see people and go places – but this was a normal weekend in Tucson and I felt very disjointed. It was like, wait a minute – less than a year ago this was MY life, MY restaurants, MY bars, and MY friends, and now it’s totally not.

Jeremy says that is how he felt over Homecoming – that as much as it sucks, we just don’t have a place there anymore. I didn’t feel that way over Homecoming, but I definitely did this time. It was SO good seeing everyone and going everywhere I missed, but Tucson isn’t my home anymore, which is truly heartbreaking for me. I literally had the best 3.5 years of my life (what? First semester sucked!) at the UofA and I will never, EVER, forget any part of my time there, but I had no idea going back would be so rough. I kept trying to close my eyes and pretend that it was real, that I hadn’t graduated, that this was just a normal Saturday night schmoozing at my favorite bar with my friends, but I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t.

Ugh! Moving on. I can’t even count how many people came up to me over the weekend to say that they loved reading my blog, which was SUCH a fabulous feeling! I know I promised shoutouts to a lot of you, and honestly, I really would have done it, but unfortunately I was fairly drunk all weekend and can’t remember who I said it to. My bad. Anyways, thanks to everyone who continues to read this!

Before I go, I just would like to say I am anxiously awaiting what they’re calling “Super Tuesday 2”, aka tomorrow’s Democratic primaries. I hope Hillary will be able to pull it off, but I genuinely don’t know if she can. To be perfectly honest, I am fine with both candidates – I just felt like Hillary Clinton has more experience, which is why I voted for her (also, John Edwards had already dropped out of the race, and I was originally planning on voting for him). I am very interested in what will happen tomorrow. So, to all my pals in Texas, get out there and vote! And let me know what its like out there. I have a feeling it will be very exciting!