Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year!

Happy 2008 everyone!

I can't believe how fast the past year went. It seems like just yesterday it was 2007… oh wait. Ha I am funny!

Here is a short list of some New Years Resolutions. I figure that by putting them in a public forum, I will be more likely to follow them/not completely abandon them by February 1st.

1. Cut back on the yelling. I do not need to yell as much as I do.
2. Cut back on the cursing near Daddy (I like to say the F word, but I will try to curb it when I am in Encino. That is a fair compromise I think.)
3. Follow the budgie (aka budget) that Jeremy made me. Trust me, it SUCKS. This one will be hard. Only one pair of shoes per month. Blah.
4. Try to be “greener”. I already have been trying to cut back on paper usage, plastic bags, etc, so I will keep doing it. I don’t think I’m at the point where I’m about to buy a Prius, but you never know.
5. Start working on my novel. Some of you may know that in the past, I have started a few stories that I thought eventually could be novels, but never managed to stick with it. This time, I’ve got a title and a story that I think could actually work… we’ll see what happens if I stop dicking around on Facebook and actually put my mind to something. Who knows, maybe 2008 will be the year I get famous! (And by that I mean more famous than I am now. If I get really famous, I’m moving into Vizkaya and only shopping at Neiman Marcus.)

There are more but I am already annoyed so I am quitting listing them while I am ahead.

Moving on. I saw this cartoon in last month’s Glamour and managed to figure out how to scan it, crop it, and post it (that is impressive considering my lack of knowledge of how to work technological machines. It just shows my dedication to the blog!). I thought it was fabulous and I might add one or two (or all) of those resolutions to my own list!

So, Happy New Year again. I am excited to see what fabulous shenanigans 2008 will bring!

The Results Are In

So, the scores are in. I did not win this week’s experiment as many had thought I would. However, I did enjoy it – I spent most of Sunday asking people around me if they knew the scores and I kept doing little victory dances everytime one of my picks were right. Below you will find two reports/analyses of the week – one from Jeremy, who is happy he is still considered smarter than me in something, and the other from Jake, who is an unbiased outside contributor.

Jacob's Report
New England at NY Giants – This was an obvious pick, even for Jordan.

Seattle at Atlanta – Unfortunately, this was a loss for Jordan. I think we are all as surprised as she was about this loss. Her impeccable logic on this pick was usurped by Chris Redman… Don't worry Jordan, we are all at a loss…

New Orleans at Chicago – Jordan's reasoning failed her on this pick. It is obvious that Bragman is nowhere near "a Saint". In fact, this just in, Saints everywhere are insulted by Jordan's comments.

San Franscico at Cleveland – Jordan's "feeling bad for the guys at the San Fran Zoo" was inexcusable logic. Anybody dumb enough to try and save people from a tiger mauling doesn't deserve to have their local NFL team win.

Detroit at Green Bay – This was another correct choice by Jordan. Brett Farve was on her side today.

Cincinnati at Miami – Similar to the New England pick, this one was too obvious, even for Jordan.

Buffalo at Philadelphia – Actually, I liked Jordan's "food" logic on this pick. The game itself was basically a toss up anyway, so going to something she knows better than football, in this case food, for logic was a great choice.

Carolina at Tampa Bay – Jordan, FYI, the team from Carolina is known as the Panthers. They are the only NFL team for which I own a jersey. I expected you to know that and am thoroughly disappointed in this pick.

Jacksonville at Houston – Like the rest of us, Jordan had no idea on this game. Being another toss up, despite Jacksonville's recent streak, Jordan came out on top with a pick of Houston.

Dallas at Washington – This was unfortunate for Jordan. I would have picked Dallas on a normal week, as she did, however this was the last week of the season. Sparing you the details, Dallas was setup for a loss from the get go. Although I do agree with Jordan, Tony Romo needs to dump "JSimp", he can do much better.

Pittsburgh at Baltimore – I don't know who Daniel Sherman is, however I, like Jeremy, hope his middle name isn't Marie. In other news, Jordan went against the odds and correctly picked Baltimore in this one.

St. Louis at Arizona – At this point I am seriously considering having Jordan make my playoff picks. Arizona blew out St. Louis, and blew away her readers by actually picking this game correctly.

Kansas City at NY Jets – Jordan gave no logic for this pick, so I will make no commentary, other than good choice.

San Diego at Oakland – Why Jordan went with NorCal over SoCal in this one is anybody's guess. With the best running back in the league playing for San Diego, and Oakland being the perennial disappointment that they are, we are all left scratching our heads.

Minnesota at Denver – Jordan avoids common sense (as usual) and takes Denver. Much to our surprise, Denver ends Minnesota's playoff chances and makes Jordan look like a genius. Hopefully the success from this pick won't go to her head.

Tennessee at Indianapolis – In the most stunning move of the entire list of picks, Jordan took Indy, instead of my semi-local Titans. This wasn't the stunning part mind you. What was most upsetting was Jordan's admission that she finds Peyton Manning attractive. Unfortunately, the giant walking penis shaped head known as Peyton Manning only played a few snaps, and the marginally better looking back up Jim Sorgi was unable to lead the Colts offense past the menacing Titans defense.

All in all, Jordan picked a rather amazing 9 games correctly (out of 16). Unfortunately for Jordan, the King of "The League of the Dorks" Jeremy picked 11 games correctly. It was overall a valiant showing for Jordan. Personally, I am proud of her, and with a little Tivoing of SportsCenter (it's only an hour and if you Tivo it you can skip through the boring parts and commercials…) I feel confident that she could easily out pick the King, or any other member of "The League of Dorks".

Jeremy's Report

Shockingly, I was victorious over Jordan this week. I was sure I’d get publicly embarrassed, but I guess it turned out OK with me out-picking Jordan 11 games to 9. The way to really test my hypothesis is if we chose with the lines, but I have little faith that Jordan would have the patience to learn how that works. As it stands now, I am able to make obvious picks like Cleveland over San Francisco since I know the 49ers blow. In theory, if we are picking who beats the spread rather than simply who wins, there should be a 50-50 shot. This is what I credit my win to, not knowledge of any sort. Anyhow, lets talk about the week.

New England vs. New York - I give myself extra kudos on this one. Obviously picking the Pats was the easy part, but as I noted prior to the game, the Giants could technically have the formula to keep the game close. That pass rush and Brandon Jacobs almost did it.

Chicago vs. New Orleans - Another correct pick. I love how Chicago waited until the last 2 weeks of the season to decide that Devin Hester is their best player and he should get the ball as often as possible.

San Francisco vs. Cleveland -This one I mentioned before. This went as expected, even though I was expecting the Browns to win by a bigger margin. Lets all hope that was the last we see of Chris Weinke.

Detroit vs. Green Bay - Once again, extra props to me. I say that Detroit’s problem was Martz, and the next day they announce he will be fired. I guess that wasn’t going out on a huge limb, but it’s nice. I’m glad Favre could come through for Greene and Bailey.

Cincinnati vs. Miami - For the first half I looked like a genius. If I had gotten this one right I really would have been impressed.

Buffalo vs. Philadelphia - Jordan and I both picked this one right, though I resent that picking against buffalo wings led to good things.

Carolina vs. Tampa Bay - I got this right and I declare Matt Moore to officially be an average quarterback. Congratulations Matt. I don’t understand why the Bailey logic didn’t apply here.

Seattle vs. Atlanta - As I said previously, I badly wanted to pick Atlanta but I didn’t have the balls. I wasn’t as shocked about this as some people were. Atlanta had absolutely nothing to lose.

Jacksonville vs. Houston - I do not hold myself at all responsible for making the wrong pick here. Jack Del Rio literally held out every player worth a shit. I hope that doesn’t hurt them in any way because I really enjoy watching the Jags play and am raring to go for picking them in the playoffs.

Dallas vs. Washington - I picked this correctly and I am having major concerns on how the Cowboys look heading into the playoffs. I could unleash pages of pages of Cowboys commentary here but I would certainly be talking to myself. Instead of logical commentary, I will veer off into a side story.

Prior to the season, I made a bet with Sean that the Cowboys would have a better record than the Saints. The wager was a jersey of the winning team for the winning fan. Obviously, the Cowboys have a better record than the Saints. Thus, two weeks ago Sean was a man (don’t act so shocked) and held to his end of the bargain and I got a brand new DeMarcus Ware jersey in the mail. I wear jerseys for pretty much any sporting event, even if I’m just on my couch. Through the first 14 games of the season I wore my Tony Romo jersey that was graciously given by Jordan and everything went well. This was a big leap for me to put it on when the season began because I was wearing it during a Certain Playoff Game With a Certain Botched Snap that we will not discuss. Anyway, I get the Ware jersey, have worn it the last 2 weeks and the Cowboys could not have looked worse. In two weeks the Cowboys have a playoff game. Do I wear the Ware jersey and hope it has been a fluke 2 weeks or do I wear the jersey that I was wearing during the last unspeakable Cowboys playoff game? Did the first 14 games excise the demons of last year’s playoffs? I will be agonizing over this decision for the next two weeks. Seriously. Any thoughts or spiritual guidance during that time would be appreciated.

Baltimore vs. Pittsburgh - I’m so happy about this pick I threw myself a parade. I feel jubilant.

St. Louis vs. Arizona - As I said, I have irrational faith in the Rams. What I should have remembered was that every year there is a late season Cardinals game that gets every dope in Arizona artificially excited for the next year. Now every idiot in Scottsdale with frosted tips is gonna be walking around thinking next year is going to finally be the year because the Cards put a hurting on the Rams in week 17. Meanwhile, Kurt Warner’s wife still looks like his mom. Kurt Warner is a professional football quarterback for Christ’s sake…and he was a Super Bowl MVP! This really bothers me.

Kansas City vs. New York Jets - My bulletproof logic came through. A team that definitely sucks will lose to teams that may or may not suck.

San Diego vs. Oakland - Another shining example of why we should be picking who beats the spread and not who will simply win the game. I feel like I cheated by picking this correctly while Jordan didn’t know any better than to pick the terrible Raiders. Oh well.

Minnesota vs. Denver - I’m really upset that Minnesota isn’t going to the playoffs, but not because I picked them to win this game. As I mentioned, I’ve been following Tarvaris Jackson closely, and the prospect of getting to bet against him on the road in the playoffs would have made me a very rich man. In their place, I’m looking at a suddenly and inexplicably competent Todd Collins and the Skins going against Tampa in a game that I’m having a difficult time making heads or tails of. Really just a terrible turn of events.

Tennessee vs. Indianapolis - Even though I picked this correctly, I couldn’t feel worse about the Titans going into the playoffs as a Vince Young fan and thus a pseudo Titans fan. I don’t trust Kerry Collins to find his way from the locker room to the field, much less win a road playoff game. Even with Young, it’s not like he was lighting it up prior. This whole “Vince Young just wins football games” business might not have legs.

So that’s the week. Jordan claims that she enjoyed doing this so it looks like there is a chance you’ll see my playoff picks as well. I feel pretty good about the playoff picks, so hopefully I don’t humiliate myself in a public forum. I know there are quite a few readers of this blog who would deeply enjoy my humiliation. Fortunately for me, those people probably scroll through football discussions and wouldn’t even realize that it is happening.
See you next week for Week 18! Or maybe its playoffs. I don't know.
Mini Sports Gal

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Juno Musing Before The Boys Talk Football

I saw Juno again today. It was hilarious - Diablo Cody is a genius and will be the next big thing. You heard it here first. I'm posting my favorite line from the movie... if you haven't seen it, you're missing out.

"i think im like, in love with you."

"you mean as friends?"

"no, i mean like for real. cuz you're like the coolest person i've ever met, and you dont even have to try."

"i try really hard actually."

Also, I definitely want to say hi and give a shoutout to everyone who has been telling me they love this blog! It is really nice to hear :) I love doing it and I love when people tell me I am hilarious or entertaining!

I'll be back tomorrow to wish everyone a happy new year!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Week 17 Predictions from the King of "The League of Dorks"

So, after talking over my new blog feature with Jeremy, we've decided that its only fair for him to post his picks as well. That way, when I kick his ass so hard he cries, you will all be witnesses to see exactly how this went down. I should also note that I have no idea what Jeremy is writing about and I am in no way shape or form monitoring what he has written because a, i dont understand it, and b, i dont really care.

Also, he doesn't want to totally rip off Bill Simmons, so he objected to me wanting to call him Mini Sports Guy. Therefore, he will have to be known as the King of the League of Dorks, until he comes up with a better name or caves and lets me call him what I want to.

So, without further ado, Jer's Week 17 picks.

Let me preface this by saying 2 things. First, this is the most boring week of NFL games in recent memory. Generally week 17 is very exciting but in both conferences 5 of the 6 seeds are entirely sewn up. There are about 4 games that I would say actually matter, which is probably a generous assessment. I don’t know that you can count a game as exciting when only one of the teams cares about the outcome.

Second, I fully anticipate Jordan having a better record than mine in this NFL picks experiment. Especially after this last college football season, I firmly believe that the more you know, the less you know. Also, I’m fairly certain that the only person with a chance at reading this all the way through is Jacob. I don’t think Jordan is even going to and it’s her blog.

New England Patriots at New York Giants – Patriots

I wish the Giants would win this game, and technically I think they could follow the formula to have some success, but I can’t pick Eli Manning for anything under any circumstances. On paper, the Giants have a solid rushing game with Jacobs and the best pass rushes in the league with Strahan, Omenyiora, and the rest of the front 7, but I won’t pick against the Pats here. They want this win and the individual records that they’ll earn here and I’m not convinced the Giants starters are playing this whole game.

New Orleans Saints at Chicago Bears – Bears

This is a game that could potentially officially eliminate the Saints from playoff contention. I want the Saints to take it because I promised Sean I’d root for them after he bought me a DeMarcus Ware jersey, but I don’t see it. McCallister has been out, Bush is still going to be out, Stecker is a game time decision, and Colston got clocked pretty hard last week. I guess get ready for the Devery Henderson show. As someone who has had Henderson on my fantasy team for parts of the last 2 seasons, let me assure you it’s a bad show. I want Brees to succeed, but as the Bears proved last week by knocking off Green Bay, they’re still a proud group with a solid, if no longer dominating defense. And it’s going to be really cold there, so ask Sean what happened the last time the Saints played a cold weather game in Chicago, he saw firsthand.

San Francisco 49ers at Cleveland Browns – Browns

I don’t have any question about this one. The 49ers are the second worst team in the league and the Browns have a playoff spot to play for. It’s going to be really cold and possibly snowing in Cleveland and the 49ers aren’t used to that. Big games from Edwards, Winslow, Anderson, and Jamal Lewis. This will be over before the 4th quarter.

Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers – Packers

Dome team at Lambeau in December alert! I really feel bad about what happened to Detroit’s season. I love what Marinelli is doing, but injuries and Mike Martz caught up with them. Jon Kitna had no business going public with the 10 win prediction, but you like the confidence. Green Bay is going to play a lot of second stringers here, but Aaron Rodgers is going to continue to prove that he isn’t a joke and the Detroit D gave up weeks ago.

Cincinnati Bengals at Miami Dolphins – Dolphins

When Jordan beats me this week, this is one of the games I’m going to point to as proof that people who know what they’re talking about overanalyze this stuff. Anyway, these are two teams who have been out of the playoff race for a while, but the Dolphins have things to play for now with the Bill Parcells hire. Meanwhile, the Bengals are dysfunctional on many levels. Marvin Lewis is testing exactly how terrible you can coach without getting fired. The team quit on him, and the game is in South Beach so I’d be willing to bet on one player getting arrested prior to game time. The offense has massively underachieved and there hasn’t been a Bengal defense for about 4 years now. On the other side, the Dolphins players are auditioning for next year. These are a lot of marginal NFL players who want to prove to Parcells that they belong on this team. All the quotes from the Miami players this week seem like the Parcells hire has lit a bit of a fire there. I’m either going to look like a genius or an idiot and based on my track record I’d go with the latter.

Buffalo Bills at Philadelphia Eagles – Eagles

This is likely the last Eagles home game for Donovan McNabb, so he will try to put on a show here. Plus the Bills lost a home game in front of Kevin Everett, lost a 14 point first quarter lead, and lost their playoff chances all in one game. I’m guessing they really mail this one in.

Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Panthers

Here is part 2 of I’m an idiot for making this pick. Every second that Jon Gruden has his starters on the field is a second too long. Lets have a roll call of their best players along with their ages. Jeff Garcia, 37. Joey Galloway, 36. Ike Hilliard, 31. Derrick Brooks, 34. Ronde Barber, 32. These guys should be under house arrest all weekend to make sure nothing happens to them before next week’s playoff game because the Bucs aren’t deep and likely would fall flat without any one of them. Assuming Gruden isn’t an idiot, this means it’s Bruce Gradkowski time at QB. In addition to this positive omen for Carolina, John Fox may need a win here to keep his job and it is entirely possible that Matt Moore could be an average quarterback (this is a compliment). A good game here gets Moore some thought as a potential player for a lot of teams next year if the Panthers decide to go back to Delhomme. Also, I like to say that David Carr sucks every chance I get. David Carr sucks.

Seattle Seahawks at Atlanta Falcons - Seahawaks
I badly want to pick Atlanta here. When the season started, I thought this was the chance Joey Harrington needed, but that blew up in my face. Now, I really believe the Falcons are the worst team in the NFL. Worse than the 49ers. Worse than Miami. For all intents and purposes this is an expansion team. Seattle will be playing their backups, but Seneca Wallace is possibly the best backup in football and the Seabirds D is very, very good even with the second string. Jordan Babineaux is a beast. I feel bad for Warrick Dunn in all of this, who is probably the best person in the league. Unfortunately, he really needs to retire but understandably doesn't want to end his career with this shit season.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans - Jaguars

This is probably the toughest call of the week. Jags are the hottest team in the league right now playing really great football, but this is technically a meaningless game for them. The question is, do you rest your players or keep the momentum going? This is a young team so I don’t think rest is as key as it is for a team like Tampa, so if I were Del Rio I’d limit Fred Taylor since he’s the senior citizen here and run Jones-Drew since he’s only 24. The other thing that makes this tough is the Jekyll and Hyde Houston Texans. The first few weeks of the season they looked like a legitimate threat. Andre Johnson is a fantastic receiver and has sometimes carried my fantasy teams each of the last 2 seasons. Schaub played well and then when Sage Rosenfels has had to come in he has decided to not play like Sage Rosenfels. Jordan sucks. Mario Williams has turned out to be the best player of the draft and DeMeco Ryans is one of the best young linebackers in football. This is a game that could be a big building block for next year, so they won’t roll over for Jacksonville. I’m taking the Jags because I think David Garrard plays most of the game. If Quinn Gray gets in there a lot then all bets are off.

Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins – Redskins

For the first time in my life, I’m rooting for the Cowboys to lose for reasons other than draft position. I am doing this for a few reasons. If the Cowboys lose, that means we saw a great deal of Brad Johnson and Tony Romo sat. I do not want to see the Cowboys busting ass to win this, there is absolutely no reason. Logically, I don’t see how the Boys win this one anyway. T.O. is out (Get well soon), Terrence Newman and Pat Watkins are both out so the secondary is going to be very shorthanded, and Jay Ratliff won’t be playing so Tank Johnson will be getting extended time. All this while the Redskins are playing in front of their home crowd and get a playoff spot if they win. I say let them have it, these could be famous last words but I’d rather see them come in for a playoff game than the Vikes or Saints.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Baltimore Ravens – Ravens

I already don’t like this pick. Baltimore has lost 9 straight and the Steelers won their division. However, Big Ben is out for this one and Willie Parker is out for the season. This means the backfield for the Steelers is Charlie Batch and Najeh Davenport. I’m sorry, but I can’t take them over Ray Lewis and Ed Reed. If Kyle Boller/Troy Smith can figure out a way to get 17 points on the board I think that will be enough. Unfortunately, that’s a big if. That said, the over/under for the game is 35. Just saying. Also, after reading Jordan’s picks it seems Daniel’s middle name is Marie. Way to persevere.

St. Louis Rams at Arizona Cardinals – Rams

I have had an irrational belief in the Rams all season. They are much better than their record. The Cardinals won’t be stopping Steven Jackson and Tory Holt and this is what Kurt Warner’s wife looks like:

Kansas City Chiefs at New York Jets – Jets

In a bad week of football games this is probably the worst one on the schedule. There is a possibility that the Jets don’t completely suck. However, there is no possibility that the Chiefs don’t completely suck. How’s that for hard hitting analysis?

San Diego Chargers at Oakland Raiders – Chargers

Easiest game to pick on the schedule. Here’s a quick run down of all the reasons the Chargers are winning this game: Raiders have the worst rush defense in football and are going against LaDainian Tomlinson, first career start for the ridiculously overrated future bust Jamarcus Russell against a stout Chargers D, Oakland coach Lane Kiffin is still wrestling with the difficulties of puberty, and Norv Turner wins more meaningless easy games to pad his record and make him look artificially good than any other coach in NFL history.

Minnesota Vikings at Denver Broncos – Vikings

Watching the Tarvaris Jackson Experience has been one of the most interesting parts of this NFL season for me. I’m rooting for the guy because by all accounts he’s a great guy, really tries hard and wants to be a good leader, but when he has a bad game he has a B-A-D game. Brad Childress made a solid player of out Donovan McNabb in Philly and feels like he can do it again with Jackson, so I’m pulling for him. However, the reason I’m taking the Vikes here is Chester Taylor and Adrian Peterson against the lousy Broncos rush D. The Vikings win this by controlling the clock and staying ahead. If Jackson has to pass against Champ Bailey and ‘Dre Bly it will be a long game for Minnesota. Don’t discount the possibility of Cutler having a solid game after jawing with Philip Rivers in last week’s game.

Tennessee Titans at Indianapolis Colts – Titans

Tony Dungy NEVER plays his guys in these meaningless late season games. Tennessee needs this win to get in the playoffs. Vince Young in prime time with a nationally televised audience. He needs this one to get some critics off his back. Titans big, sorry Jim Sorgi.

And that’s where I see week 17. There’s still time, so get to your local bookie/gambling site and take all of Jordan’s picks and bet against mine. I feel good about some of my playoff picks coming up, so if Jordan decides this isn’t really boring you might get a chance to see some selections that I can stand behind.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Jordan Silverman, Mini Sports Gal

So lately I have been spending a great deal of time on I know, that is very strange and unusual that I, a girl who considers the highlight of Major League Baseball games to be the garlic fries served at Dodger Stadium, would be on the biggest sports website in the world. I will explain why.

Jeremy has introduced me to his favorite sports writer, Bill Simmons. I like to read Bill Simmons for two reasons: number one, he is funny and sounds exactly like Jeremy when Jeremy is being particularly smart (unusual), and number two, Bill Simmons has a wife who is really funny and exasperated with sports and comes up with hilarious names for her husband (like she calls his fantasy football team the “League of Dorks”, I am SO stealing that!). She is known as the Sports Gal.

Something else the Sports Gal does is she makes picks for the games – who she thinks is going to win and why. I think I would be good at that too. I am smart. So, without further ado, here are my picks for this week. If you are my father, stop choking on your Pellegrino and pay attention.

New England at NY Giants – I choose New England because they are very good. I think they will win.
Seattle at Atlanta – I do not know anything about these two teams except that Michael Vick used to play for Atlanta. So, I pick Seattle, because I am against dogfighting and bad men.

New Orleans at Chicago – Bragman is a Saint, so I will choose New Orleans in honor of her.

*Note: I have just realized Sean Udin is a Saint also, which makes my decision difficult. Nonetheless, I will stick with the Saints.

San Franscico at Cleveland – I do not know anything about these teams either, but I feel bad for the guys who got attacked at the San Francisco Zoo by that mean tiger, so I will choose San Fran in their honor.

Detroit at Green Bay – I choose Green Bay in honor of my friend Greene and my sister Bay.

Cincinnati at Miami – I know enough about football to know that the Dolphins fucking suck. I definitely choose Cincinnati.

Buffalo at Philadelphia – this tossup will have to come down to food. so, i will choose between buffalo wings and cheesesteak. I like cheesesteak better so Philadelphia it is.

Carolina at Tampa Bay – I like the word “Buccaneers” so I will choose Tampa Bay. I do not even know what Carolina’s team is called.

Jacksonville at Houston – I have no freaking idea. I will say Houston because all my friends are from there.

Dallas at Washington – Believe me, I know the rules: Cowboys are the best above the rest. I pick them 100%. Note to Tony Romo: do not fuck this up. Dump JSimp ASAP if you have to otherwise your teammates are gonna kick your ass in the locker room.

Pittsburgh at Baltimore – again, no clue. I will say Baltimore, just because Daniel Marie Sherman is from Maryland and he’s pretty cool.

St. Louis at Arizona – I choose Arizona. Bear down. (I know this is the NFL. I’m not that stupid. I just wanted to say it.)

Kansas City at NY Jets – I’ll go with Jets. Vroooom.

San Diego at Oakland – I think I will say Oakland. Either way I am okay with the winner because they are both from California.

Minnesota at Denver – I say Denver, because I am visiting in 3 weeks and I want everyone in town to be happy.

Tennessee at Indianapolis – Colts, because Peyton Manning is kind of cute. Sorry Jake.

So there are my picks. On Sunday, Jeremy will write a short report talking about how well I did and I will post it here so you all can see whether or not my predictions rocked. I have a feeling they will.

Greene comes in an hour! I am off!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

In Memory of Benazir Bhutto

To be honest, I don't know enough about former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto to write anything long here. However, I do know that Bhutto was the first woman to lead an Islamic state, and I have always had a great deal of respect for powerful female leaders.

Last month, Bhutto wrote a piece for, and I clicked to read it, not knowing anything about who she was or what she stood for. This article was written shortly after she returned to Pakistan from her self-imposed exile, and in the article, she wrote about how she felt, returning to her country after almost ten years. She wrote passionately, vowing to keep pushing for democracy in Pakistan, despite the many, many obstacles that stood in her way.

I admired Bhutto, as a writer, as a woman, and also as someone with power. She was smart, opinionated, and confident, all traits that I believe in strongly - this was a woman who made a difference in the world.

My prayers go out to Bhutto's family and loved ones, and all her supporters mourning her death in Pakistan and all over the world.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My Sister the Tard

Hello all! I hope your Christmases were merry indeed. Mine was dandy, I saw National Treasure 2 with the fam and the Mayos and then ate dinner at 4:30, because I'm pretty sure that's what my mom thinks Christian people do.

Anywho, today's post will be a tribute to the brilliant scholar that is Bailey Janna Silverman. I'll make this simple (much like BJS herself)...

"You're not allowed to eat lettuce when you're pregnant, are you?" - Bailey Silverman, 8:45 pm, 12/26/2007.

Yes, she IS that retarded. Still, there's hope for Bailey. After all, she knows what a foumart is, and I'd be willing to bet that NONE of you do.

In fact, I will personally give you $20 if you can tell me what a foumart is! No googling. Scout's honor. Jacob, that means you.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Viva Lost Wages

So, this morning I returned from the fabulous Las Vegas at the buttcrack of dawn. Let me assure you all, I look like death. Or, Amy Winehouse. Same thing. I reek of cigarettes and my eyes are burning, plus I’m wearing all black. Hot.

Anyways, as usual, the Silverman family cannot behave normally anywhere we go, and that always makes for an exciting recap of our trip, so I thought I’d share some tidbits from the weekend.

One particular highlight was the following – while shopping in the Forum Shops, my mom and I came across an interesting spectacle… in the midst of the madness that was the mall two days before Christmas, one mother thought it was perfectly acceptable for her tiny two year old Japanese baby to stretch out in the middle of the aisle and lay down for a huge Silent Tantrum. The mother also did not find it necessary to remove her child from this position, causing shoppers to step OVER the little worm, go around her, etc etc. My words do not do this image justice, and of course, as I was fumbling for my camera, the tiny child stood up for a huge Loud Tantrum. I then lost interest and ran away.

Have any of you ever played the giant Wheel of Fortune? It is absolutely my new favorite, almost on par with Liberty Bell (AMAZING, btw, and apparently randomly only found at the Flamingo, which, by the way, = the new United Nations). Basically, you sit around this enormous wheel and play a video slot of WoF, and if you win three bonus’s in a row, the wheel actually spins. One time my mom and I won 1000 on the wheel! Which was fabulous except it was all in nickels and we couldn’t even figure out how much that was so we lost it all. Oops. Anyways, the only issue I have with this amazing game is that it is SO RANDOM. Literally, I can spin the wheel and twenty blinking Wheel of Fortunes can start spinning on screen, and that will only be 9 credits, but I can spin it again and get one orange, three bananas, a New York sign and 3 Pat Sajacks and I literally get 458 points. SO RANDOM.

Oh, I have another issue with WoF – this random Iranian woman who did not speak English sat next to us, didn’t understand how to play, and, after my mom explained it to her, promptly got to spin and won the thousand points. Cool. Not.

Oooh, another fun part! We were in the elevator and this poor crying drunk woman gets on wearing a furry scarf and a shitload of smeared makeup crying that “the 21st floor did not use to have pink carpet!” She is clearly lost. Of course my bleeding heart mother proceeds to ask what is wrong and the drunk starts hysterically crying and wheezing that she has just broken up with her boyfriend, she doesn’t know where any of her stuff is, and she can’t find her room. I innocently ask her if she knows what hotel she is in, which makes her cry harder, which results in me getting a dirty look from my mother. This story ends with me, horrified/delighted but standing ALONE in the lobby while my mom escorts the drunk to the front desk. “Oh, you are so sweet for helping me, god bless you, blah blah blah.” Yes, god bless my mother indeed, for she is kind to drunks in furry accessories.

This is long, so here is my mini review of Craft: delicious as always. My mom and I usually get the same thing everytime we come here, but this time, we decided to switch it up a little bit. I got an amazing mojito – so good that I did not allow the waiter to take it away as I was drinking the ice as it melted (“second drink”, trademark Pam). To start, I had barbequed prawns, and mama had the Persian cucumber salad. Both were delicious – I would never NOT order the prawns but I will say that her salad was one of the most delicious I have ever tasted, and you all know I do NOT eat salad (as I am a girl not a rabbit). For dinner, we split the hangar steak, and got roasted fingerling potatoes, brussel sprouts, and the mixed hen of the woods/oyster mushrooms on the side. We had never had the potatoes or bsprouts before – we liked the potatoes a LOT (very crispy and covered in sea salt) but were not such fans of the sprouts (they were kind of heavy and the taste of prosciutto was too overpowering). As usual, the steak was amazing and the mushrooms were BOMB. Prob the best mushrooms I’ve ever had. I’d post a picture but we all know my sister would flip a shit and throw her new computer on the floor/puke on it, so I’ll refrain.

While we were there we also made fun of cocktail waitresses, tortured a handsome gay salesboy in Scoop, made a large scene in Canaletto, hit on a busboy, and lost a shitload of money. We’re going back in a month when Bay turns 21 so look forward to another fun/retarded review of the FABULOUS Las Vegas.

Merry Christmas ya’ll!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Official Queenly Decree #1

Drumroll please!

As my first official decree as Royal Queen of This Blog, I am designating LAS VEGAS, NEVADA, as the Most Fabulous City on Earth.

Last Vegas has everything. You can do anything in Vegas. They have amazing hotels, restaurants, clubs, bars, stores, malls, you name it, PLUS it is legal and even encouraged to sit on your ass and flush twenties down the toilet! And they give you FREE DRINKS while you do it!

My mom likes Vegas more than anyone else in the world, and I think I am a close second. I enjoy going with her because she is generally very agreeable and, if she is winning on her video poker machine, I can sneakily weasel cash out of her while she is distracted. I am looking forward to visiting one of my favorite restaurants, playing my new favorite Wheel of Fortune, old favorite the bubble slots, Lobster Mania (shout out Julie) aaaaand OF COURSE staying in the fabulous yet trashy pink suite (more to come on that later).

So, without further ado, I am off to the fabulous Las Vegas. Everyone have a great weekend. Do something productive. Deck the halls. I'll be back Monday and everyone cross your fingers I have a large wad of cash in my pocket when I return!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Five Fabulous Things On My Mind Today

This is kind of a random post, but… the blog does have the word “fabulous” in the title, so, here is a short countdown of things that have been fabulous today!

5. The rain – it has been raining for the past few days here and I, for one, love it. When you live in Los Angeles, sometimes it is hard to remember it is actually winter and other places are buried in snow. I always sleep so well when I can hear the rain, plus, I have bomb hot pink rain boots and a leopard umbrella. I look fabulous when it rains!

4. Kosher Subway – today I went to the kosher Subway for lunch and LET ME TELL YOU it was unreal. First of all, the place was full of hot Orthodox Jewish boys giving me, the bad Conservative Jew in a sexy white coat, funny looks – “what is she doing here?” But I stood my ground and was rewarded with a delicious footlong HOT PASTRAMI sub! The menu is glatt kosher certified and offers things not found on regular Subway menus (like schwarma and corned beef and the aforementioned delicious pastrami) to compensate for things that they have to take off (like bacon and cheese- who needs it?!). For those of you who are interested in taking me out for a hot lunch date, the kosher Subway is located on Pico between Lapeer and Doheny and I am available around 1:00. See you there.

3. Pit Fire Pizza – this is a last minute addendum to my list! Ali just took Allison and I to a fabulous new place for dinner and it really was great. Pit Fire Pizza (on Westwood Blvd between Santa Monica and Olympic) kind of reminded Ali and I of Sauce in Tucson (how I miss you, Sauce) – the menu had oven baked pizzas, pastas, paninis, soups and salads. They even had cupcakes, which Allison wanted to get and will definitely be ordered next time! The nice thing about this place was that they boast local ingredients and try to use organic whenever possible (ie, from the Farmers Market). I had one of the seasonal special pizzas – it was a whole wheat crust with roasted hazelnuts, tomato sauce, dressed microgreens, pesto and burrata cheese (my new favorite cheese ever since this summer in Italy). Everything else on the menu looked really good and fresh and smelled amazing. Next time I will make someone split two things with me so I can taste more of their food. I can’t wait to go back!

2. My dream vacation – I decided today what I wanted my honeymoon to be. Someone talked me out of it, but I still think this is an amazing idea and I WILL do it sometime in my life. I don’t know about all of you, but I constantly read food reviews and websites and blogs and am always hearing about new and amazing restaurants that I am dying to try, but alas, they are always in Chicago or Hawaii or northern California. So, I have decided that one day, I am going to do a restaurant “greatest hits” where I travel for a week or two trying the restaurants I’ve always wanted to try. So far, I know for sure on my list are Thomas Keller’s French Laundry, Grant Achatz’s Alinea, Joel Robuchon , and Eric Ripert’s Le Bernadin. I’m drooling just thinking about it.

1. Crowned – I CAN’T BELIEVE IT HAS TAKEN ME SO LONG TO TALK ABOUT THIS SHOW. Truly, there are no words for this horrifyingly trashy spectacle (predictably brought to us by the CW), but I’ll try to explain it – basically, moms and daughters compete together in teams against other mom/daughter teams in a BEAUTY PAGEANT. Every episode there is a different challenge and each team performs a routine for the judges (including Carson Kressley, the gayest man on the planet and Shana Moakler, the trashiest girl on the planet who beat up her husband Travis Barker). Here’s the best part – when one team is eliminated at the end of each show, their pageant sashes are CUT OFF OF THEM BY AN ENORMOUS PAIR OF GLITTERY SCISSORS. Seriously, if this blog inspires you to do anything, sit down and watch an hour of this show. It is sickening, yet fabulous.

This is really long and Allison is yelling at me to watch HSM2 with her, so I’m off!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Two Quick Life Updates

Two quick life updates that I am currently peeing myself in excitement over:

1. Jeremy bought me The Indian in the Cupboard books!!!!!! Remember those? About the boy who has a magic cupboard and the toys he locks inside come alive? Amazing! He got me the first two and I got them in the mail today (bomb 2 day delivery Jer) and I am going to start reading them tonight. Expect a full review in a few days when I am done. Get excited.


Today is SO GOOD! :)

You Can Call Me Mrs. Jillian Michaels

Last night, I, along with a large part of America, watched in horror as Jim and Bill, the freaking Doublemint twins, took both (BOTH!) wins on the Biggest Loser, making them the richest formerly obese duo I can remember in recent history. Blah. That was so predictable – we knew Bill was going to win from the moment Jim stepped on that damn scale. As my mother so eloquently put it, “If Jim lost all that weight, so did his freaking twin!” Whatevs. She liked Bill. Her taste is immediately suspect.

Other things on my mind -- regarding the ladies in the final four, Isabeau is gross and I don’t think anyone will be hiring her to be their personal trainer. Hollie is beautiful and her new haircut makes her look like Katie Holmes. I will be trolling the streets of Los Angeles looking for her in order to invite her over, as on the show she claimed she has no friends in LA. And Julie came out of nowhere to totally fucking surprise us all with her insanely anorexic (yet hot) tube top/sparkling belt wearing body. She looked unreal. Also she kind of looked like a lollipop with her large blond head and teeny weeny bod.

Anyways, lets get onto the good stuff. I think by now everyone knows that I am head over heels in love with the Black Team trainer, Jillian Michaels, and I think everyone could benefit from hearing why I love her so much.

1. She is infinitely cooler than the other trainers. To be fair, dust bunnies are cooler than Kim, but Bob was pretty sweet (as long as you could get over those weirdo intense pep talks he always had with Kae). But still. If I were any of those contestants and Jillian was NOT my trainer, I’d throw a huge shit fit. Kinda like Amy did, now that I think about it.
2. She bitched out Neil, and it was awesome. Enough said.
3. She CONSTANTLY reminded her team that they were the “losers” and that nobody wanted them. And she got away with it! Instead of hating her for reminding them (which is what I would have done), they actually worked harder. She is a mind control wizard.
4. The images of Jillian in the promo when she is doing the one armed pushup? Extremely hot. She is freakishly buff. You would not doubt that she could kill her team if she wanted to. Which I think at times she did.
5. Speaking of wanting to kill her team, hands down, the best quote of the entire season came from Jillian. When the BL trekked to Hawaii or wherever the hell they went, Bob and Kim were dicking around and not really giving their team a workout (literally Kim had her team CARRY HER LAZY ASS on a surfboard), but noooo not my Jillian. She made the Black Team ROLL TIRES down the beach and actually screamed at them, “Roll the tire faster OR I WILL KILL YOU.”

In other news, some of those former fatties were HOT. Unfortunately, that’s not something I’m interested in pursuing due to the fact that they probably wouldn’t be into dinner dates. Or binge eating.

Biggest Loser, I will miss you. For two weeks. On January 1st the next round of chubsters hits televisions screens near you. And you know what that means…


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Mazel Tov Jamie Lynn, You've Ruined Your Life!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Jamie Lynn Spears is PREGNANT!!!!!

Let me get this straight. She's 16 years old. She LIVES with her 19 year old boyfriend (who she met at church). AND she's planning on keeping the baby. This is by far the best gossip I have heard in a long time. This is almost as good as all of Britney's shit - ALMOST. I literally can't believe it! My dear granddaughter Miss Rachel "RF" Field had this to say about it: "What did everyone expect? They grew up in the sticks, in a tiny little trailer - this is all they know."

I happen to agree with RF. The Spears women are not just insane, they are insane backwoods creatures who do not know the appropriate way to behave due to a combination of fame, genetics, and too many Starbucks iced lattes.

I will be back in a little bit to blog about the BL finale but I had to comment on this nonsense. Lynne Spears must be nose deep into a bottle of Jack by now.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Biggest Loser Winner Predictions (and a preview of my Ode to Jillian Michaels)

Hello friends! Today’s post will be short. I just wanted to quickly make my predictions for tomorrow’s Biggest Loser finale.

For the past bazillion weeks, Ali and I have been addicted to the BL. Every Tuesday night we watch eagerly - our favorite part is when they show how much weight the eliminated person has lost so far. We especially liked when Jez got kicked off – they showed him practically anorexic and living in LA with a small white child. That rocked. I cannot tell a lie, I also like when the light in the fridge goes out. The first time I saw that, I nearly died laughing.

Anywho, even though all along Hollie has been my favorite (she is so pretty and from Arizona!), I think Isabeau is going to win. And not because America feels bad she has a stupid name. I think she is going to win because she still has a ton of weight to lose, PLUS she won that last challenge that gave her $10,000 to use however she wanted at home. If I were her, I’d be hiring a personal trainer right about now, and her name would be Jillian "The Shit" Michaels.

Speaking of Jillian, tomorrow after the finale I will blog about my never ending love for her more in depth, but for now, this photo will have to do. Clearly, the Black Team knows whats up. Jillian is their queen, and they are performing some sort of elaborate dance in her honor/simulating lifting her to the heavens because she is amazing and godlike. I adore her.

I can’t wait for tomorrow night!
Side note: I have changed it so you can leave comments now without having to sign in. I rock. You are all welcome.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

I'll Miss You, DFV

About an hour ago, my cousin Mandy (shout out Mangina) imed me to whine about the fact that she was a) bored, b) avoiding doing her homework, and c) mad that the Silvermans were not going to be attending the annual Dysfunctional Family Vacation© this year.

For those of you who don’t know, every year, my entire extended family on my mom’s side spends a week together in some exotic tropical locale. Past trips have included treks to the Bahamas, Atlantis, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, Cabo, Cancun, St. Thomas, several cruises, and one ill-fated week of insanity at Club Med Florida. Unfortunately, this year, due to several circumstances (including the fact that I have a job and have not yet accrued vacation time, blechhhh), my fam will not be able to attend the DFV©.

So, in honor of the DFV©, Mandy suggested that I put together a short list of memorable moments from the last nineteen years. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, highlights of the Dysfunctional Family Vacation.

Remember the time that…
-- While on a cruise, Jeffrey contracted some sort of violent flu, which he passed to all seven cousins in a matter of hours. Eventually, we were quarantined to our rooms, and later found out that we got our male maid so sick he had to be put in the ship infirmary. Lesson learned. Our germs are potent.
-- A fun trip with all seven cousins on a banana boat ride in the ocean turned into a nightmare from hell when the evil Mexican man manning the boat decided it would be funny to throw the seven Jewish children in the deep water. May I also mention that 6 out of 7 are frightened of the ocean, myself including. He threw us off, we screamed and cried, I got injured… it was disastrous.
-- Some naked photographs of one Miss Mandy Jill and one Miss Bailey Janna were taken while the two wrestled naked on a bed. Eventually, the two tired themselves out so much that they fell asleep, cuddled up naked in the bed. Unfortunately, my mother reads this blog or photographic evidence would have been posted.
-- I woke up, went to the pool, downed a margarita, went to get lunch, passed out in the middle of the restaurant, and woke up to find that a one legged lady had thrown her crutch aside in her haste to get to me. Of course, an ambulance/Virgin Islands paramedics were summoned immediately and I threw up no less than three times while an audience of 150 watched. Of course, my dear sister took photos. A video is also available.
-- A certain mother and grandmother spent an entire day in Mexico searching pharmacies for illegal prescription pills that they most certainly did not have prescriptions for. I’ll leave it at that.
--Lastly, and perhaps, most famously, while on a cruise, a loudspeaker announcement issued a frantic plea for a certain gentleman to reveal himself. He did not, and shortly afterwards we were requested to go back to our cabins and look for something “unusual”. After this, the Captain got on the loudspeaker to inform us we were turning around to “search the area” with the Coast Guard.” We later found out that the assistant pastry chef aboard our ship had FALLEN OVERBOARD AND DIED. Of course, we were mostly concerned that that meant no dessert would be available for the remainder of the trip.

That is just a sprinkling of the retarded events that take place every December. I am sure this year’s trip will be no less than amazing as well. So, to Susan, Alan, Ryan, Sam, Howard, Lynn, Mandy, Jeff, Rachel, and of course, Meema, I wish you a wonderful trip to Cancun. Please wear sunblock.

And Mandy? Take pictures.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Tyra Banks is Crazy

Many of you know that, in recent years, I have become devoted to television. Perhaps devoted is not the word. I adore TV. This is, of course, directly related to my acquisition of Tivo at the beginning of my junior year. I now have shows that I watch religiously every night of the week (except Friday and nothing great on Sunday – I am eager for suggestions). I love my shows. I cry at the sad parts, I laugh at the funny parts (I also occasionally laugh at the sad parts), I make fun of the characters, I wait with bated breath after the previews suck me in each week. I just love TV.

That being said, I am irritated. You will now all be treated to a short rant that I like to call TYRA BANKS AND AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL ARE INSANE.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I usually love America’s Next Top Model. I have been a faithful devotee of the show for at least five seasons, long before Caridee mouthed off to Nigel, Bre poured energy drinks down the drain, and Kim made out with Sarah in the limo. But I digress. The show has these hilarious little challenges and deranged photo shoots and awesome bitchy drama generally I enjoy it very much.

But last night was the finale. And America’s Next Top Model is… Saleisha?

Saleisha is gross. They gave her that stupid little haircut and bad advice on clothing a d she spent almost every episode talking about how awesome she was and jumping up and down on the bed happily screaming about how she loved sparkles and cookies and Tyra and whatnot and she was just irritating. As for the others in the final three, from a strictly modelesque standpoint, Chantal (no bright bulb herself) was prettier, taller, and thinner. Don’t even get me started on how they got rid of Jenah (interesting looking, funny, and even appeared to have a brain) as fast as possible.

I swear, they picked Saleisha just because last week in that stupid “Mongolians and Barbarians Climb Over The Great Wall of China” photo shoot, she jumped in the air and Tyra managed to stop talking about herself long enough to snap a cool looking photo. And even though Tyra claimed that Saleisha’s summer at Tyra’s own T-ZONE camp would have no affect on her in the competition, you KNOW Miss T was gunning for her to do well, just so she’d have an excuse to keep her around and then act all “Me? My camp? The little T-ZONE camper is a good model? Amazing! I had no idea.”

And as long as I’m still ranting, I might as well mention that the formula for this show is OLD. Anyone with half a brain knows exactly what is going to happen every season, or, for that matter, every episode! In case you are not one of these people familiar with Tyra’s empire, I’ll give you a rundown.

We start by narrowing the large pool of gangly awkward tall girls to thirteen finalists. In a series of rapid succession we have: edgy photoshoots, makeovers (where someone HAS TO CRY about her ugly half shaved dyed white hair), general bitchery and smacktalk, some scary ass wigs worn by Tyra at judging, a breakdown of some random model in the phone booth to her loving Christian parent in Buttfuck, Idaho (who encourages her to pray, as if that’ll help), a trip to some “fashion capital” of the world, and a lot of elininations of previously stated gangly awkward tall girls. Somewhere in the middle there we also have the girls jumping into pools, the obligatory plus-size model has a body-breakdown, Tyra and Miss J do a stupid dance at panel, and Nigel makes hot and creepy remarks. Throughout it all, Tyra continues to pretend she is Oprah by picking on models, asking models what deep dark secrets or traumas they have experienced in life, and speaking in a soft soothing voice when the models break down crying. She is not Oprah. Nowhere close. And I don’t even like Oprah these days.

But if I can be serious, the number one thing that really makes me mad about America’s Next Top Model is the fact that they got rid of Janice Dickinson. Every Wednesday, when I sit in front of my TV and watch ANTM, I lament the abdication of Janice Dickinson. She was the shit – panel was all about waiting to hear what bitchy remark Janice would make and what stupid model she would make cry. Luckily, we can all get our Janice fix now that she has her own AMAZING show on the Oxygen Network. Janice has major Botox, makes her male models strip for no good reason whatsoever, screams at people, and is generally crazy. She is FUCKED UP and I love it!

Down with Tyra. Viva la Janice!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


I need to express a great deal of love to all my friends and fans who have already told me they like the blog. In particular, I enjoyed a comment about someone favoriting it because they wanted to "laugh everyday." You know who you are. That warms my heart. I love you.

Anyways, after work today I traveled deep, deep into the valley to play with my mom. When I arrived at my house, she was kind enough to give me three of my LONG AWAITED hannukah gifts - a Sephora 64-eyeshadow palette, The Office wall calendar, AND a pair of emerald green Tory Burch reese ballet flats!

Aren't they so pretty? They are shiny green and so comfortable. The best part is, the tassels are glued down, so I can dance and kick as much as I want and the tassels never move!

I am also OBSESSED with my new Ugg moccassins. I got them a week ago and every day, I come right home from work and put them on my feet and do not remove them til absolutely necessary. They are like an orgasm for the toes.

Finally, I have to talk briefly about my all time favorite shoes, which also happen to be the same shoes NO ONE WILL LET ME BUY. Ladies and gentlemen, behold the mouse shoes. Unfortunately, blogging is still new and difficult to me, so you will have to click here to see the little mice.

Marc Jacobs is a genius. That's all I have to say. If you don't recognize the brilliance of making actual mouse shoes (complete with whiskers), then nothing I can say or do or blog will change your mind.

And as long as we're talking about shoes, we might as well pay homage to Kelly and her shoes.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I have a blog!


I am SO excited! For many years, I have believed that my random thoughts on what I found fabulous were worth spreading to the masses, instead of just being babbled to whichever one of my friends was unfortunate enough to be on the phone or online with me at the time.

So, this is the blog, and it is called Don’t Fuck With Fabulous. I toyed with several other names, including The Leopard Spot (shout out to Ali) and It’s Fun to Make Fun (which is still a personal life mantra of mine), but in the end, Don’t Fuck With Fabulous seemed like the perfect fit. Plus it has the F word in it so that’ll piss my parents off, which is always nice.

So basically, if you know me – and I’m pretty sure you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this – you know that I love saying something is “fabulous!” That includes a lot of things: movies, tv shows, shoes, restaurants, websites, clothing stores, people, etc. So this blog will be a collection of all things I find fabulous! (And probably a few complaints from time to time. Not everything is fabulous all the time, although sushi and Marc Jacobs are close).

I hope I am doing this right. Anyways, here is the first post. I arrived home from a long hard day at work to find a message from Julie on my facebook wall. It was a link to THIS!

Amazing! And just in time for Christmas, which I kind of like even though I’m Jewish. (Do you hear that Mom? We are Jewish. Stop decorating the house.)

I love my blog! Everyone better love it too.