Monday, January 14, 2008

It's Britney Bitch... IN ENCINO.

The funniest thing just happened to me! When Julie was here, I took her to Brother’s Sushi in Woodland Hills, and we sat next to these two cute firemen who we started chatting with. They were super friendly and cute and offered to scootch our tables together and we even shared sushi with them. One of them was particularly adorable and I told Bailey all about him. Long story short, tonight Bay and I went back there for dinner, and we sat next to this (incredibly hick) couple with the cutest baby on earth. About halfway through the meal, the dad asks us if we wouldn’t mind scooting over one table, because his friend was coming to join them. So we moved over and about five minutes later, guess who walks in! My fireman! And we both stared at each other and said “it’s you!” and had a very cute moment and shared sushi AGAIN! I think if he’s there the next time I go, it’s meant to be :)

Anyways, onto other important things, like Miss Britney J. Spears. I am very frustrated. Every time I turn around, fucking Britney is off buying something or eating somewhere or shopping in a store that I WAS JUST IN, with that fucking creepo paparazzi she is so insistent on dating. He is so repulsive. But I digress.

I could barely handle it when I went to the Glen for coffee and the next day she was there with Jamie Lynn. I could barely handle it when she had dinner and drinks at Qs, which is DOWN THE STREET. But with her frequenting Encino Starbucks and lunching at Gaucho Grill and marching around Fashion Square, I am totally furious. That’s MY Starbucks, MY favorite steak place, and MY FUCKING MALL! WHY IS SHE ALWAYS THERE WHEN I AM NOT THERE??? I AM DYING TO SEE HER!!!!!!!!!!

I need to think positive. I AM going to see her. I WILL run into her. I WILL die on the pavement.

Ahhhh. That feels better. I’m glad I got it off my chest.

I will close by saying this: if you are the stupid fucking douchebag who broke the window of my dad’s car and stole my mother’s purse in broad daylight in the middle of Sherman Oaks, you are an asshole and you deserve to be in jail. For being a thief, and for also spending $300 in Bebe before my mom had a chance to cancel her credit cards. Also, enjoy her new Tory Burch bag, because it is probably the last nice thing you will ever own. Karma. God does not reward thieving thieves.

Tomorrow – AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 7 PREMIERE. Get ready for Ryan Seacrest gaying it up, Randy Jackson not really making sense, Simon being British and rude to everyone, Paula the drunk bitch, and general amazing amazingness. I CANNOT WAIT!

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