Monday, February 25, 2008

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining and Other Fucked Up Cliches

I think it's time for another list.

Upon reflection, we have no idea how we got on the subject, but Jacob and I just got to discussing cliches and how totally stupid some of them are. We then decided to make a list of the top ten cliches that are so fucking ridiculous we think they should be universally banned. So without further ado, here is our list of the ten most totally awful cliches!

10. “The early bird catches the worm.” People who sleep late generally do not like worms. Also, people in general do not like worms.
9. “Every dog has his day.” This is just so bad. What does this even MEAN? Have you ever seen the life of a dog? Dogs don’t do SHIT. Every day is a great day for a dog.
8. “When the cat’s away, the mice will play.” If the cat was any good, the mice would have been long gone and eaten. So basically, the cat sucks.”
7. “The ball is in your court.” Who wants the ball in their court? Don’t you want the ball in someone else’s court so you can score and make them cry like babies? Also, just a lazy man’s cliché. Passive, lazy men say this.
6. “There’s no time like the present.” There’s also no time like tomorrow or the day after.
5. “All’s fair in love and war.” “Does that mean I get to shoot her if I don’t agree with her?” - Jacob
4. “You can say that again!” No, we said it the first time. Pay attention.
3. “The light at the end of the tunnel.” Unless there’s a train coming at you or its dark outside. So basically this rule does not always apply.
2. “Every cloud has a silver lining.” This is also just terrible. Also, what if you just enjoy rain? Then you would have no reason to desire a cloud with a silver lining. The silver lining would be bad.
1. “There’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’.” Possibly the most overused cliché in the universe. There is also no “I” in a LOT of other words, but you don’t see people pointing that out all day long.

I also considered “It ain’t over til the fat lady sings” and “The lights are on but nobody’s home”, but on further consideration I actually really like those.

In a totally separate project, Jacob has compiled a list of the ten cliches he actually LIKES. So, here's his list. Also solid and well thought out.

1. that boy is as sharp as a bowling ball
2.speak of the devil
3. two ways to do it, the wrong way and my way.
4. no shit, sherlock
5. come hell or high water
6. a face only a mother could love
7. the blind leading the blind
8. one French fry short of a happy meal
9. he’s off his rocker
10. mind over matter

I love lists! If you ever have an idea for a fun list I can make please let me know.

anyways, I'M OUT LIKE A LIGHT! hahahaha I genuinely crack myself up.

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