Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Passover with the Silvermans

So, hello pals. Have not blogged in FOREVS, but that’s okay because I have an excuse and it’s called My Fam Flew In From New York for Passover. Which I feel is a marvelous excuse.

Passover was full of delights with the Silvermans, as usual. Saturday night my mom hosted it, and our house was full of an eclectic group of Jews (read: total rando jando’s) having a jolly good time and not eating any bread. My mom made these bizarre veggie bundles and about sixteen different kinds of potato kugel. The Seder itself was merely a 7 on the Out of Control scale – loud and with frequent interruptions but nothing too intensely weird.

One thing our family does do that is super strange: after whoever is leading the Seder announces what part of the service we are on (ie, Urchatz), the entire family screams back in response: “URHATZ!” Hee. I believe this alarmed many of our guests. They probably will not be back for Seder ever again.

After the Seder was over, we FINALLY got to enjoy the kosher for Passover Sprinkles cupcakes, which were pretty darn fab for having no flour. They were fudgy and moist and I was a very happy camper indeed.

Sunday night, my Aunt Lynn had the Seder at her house, and this time, it was just the dozen of us Silverman/SafenoJews so we were in typical freakish dysfunctional mode. Aunt Lynn surprised all of us with a special treat – when it came time to read the Plagues, she told all of us to reach underneath our seats and we all pulled out Plague Masks that had been taped to our chairs. Each mask signified a plague and we had to go around and act them out. I was A WILD ANIMAL!!!!!!!!! Amazing, but I think I enjoyed watching my mom drunkenly pretend to be Blood even more than I did roaring at the table.

Aunt Lynn’s food was delish (Uncle Howie smoked a delicious turkey – MY FAVE) and also made like twelve kinds of potatoes, but no one was complaining, least of all me. After the Seder was over, the entire family retired to the den, where all the cousins played Rock Band on Playstation (or something like that – N64? Does that still exist? I literally have no idea) and I rocked out with the microphone. Photos to come if they’re not too embarrassing.

Yesterday the fam (everyone except Daddy and Jeff) went to Disneyland, which was also superb. I ADORE Disneyland – this was my third time in six months! All in all it was pretty eventful – with ten of us there, we had to do some strategic planning with line waiting and Fast Passes, but it all worked out relatively well and the only ride we didn’t go on was Star Tours, but no big deal. We also got to finally go on the Finding Nemo submarine ride, which I’ll be happy to sum up for those of you who have never been on it – LAME. One Mrs. Ellen Silverman was claustrophobic and not too pleased – she kept hissing “This is fucking stupid,” which may have earned her the wrath of several mommies with small childrens.

One thing did stand out – while Ryan and I were procuring Fast Passes for Indiana Jones, we walked next to some random tattooed fellow who was signing autographs. Oblivious me had no idea who he was, but Ryan informed me he was “Dick, the winner of Big Brother.” This apparently is my Aunt Susan’s favorite show, and I delighted in teasing her that she was not there to see him in person. Fast forward a few hours later – we are getting off Pirates of the Caribbean, and Mr. Dick is getting onto our boat. I tap Susan on the shoulder and inform her of this. What follows next was possibly one of the funniest things I have ever seen, as Susan LUNGES towards Dick (totally rocking the boat in the process), screaming “DICK! DICK! I’M A BIG FAN, DICK! DICK! I LOVE YOUR WORK!” I literally could not have gotten off that ride faster.

As I write this, I am looking around my room and realizing it urgently needs to be tidied up, because the aforementioned fam is on their way over here to view my apartment. So, adios, I must go and be familial. I hope you all tune your Tivos to Idol tonight because IT’S BROADWAY WEEK BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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