April Fool's Day = Totally Lame

So today is April Fools Day, which I hate because a) it is stupid, and b) I am gullible. (I also don’t like surprise parties, so, in case you were thinking of throwing me one… don’t.)

Anyways, this morning on KIISFM, Ryan Seacrest was irritating me greatly by “pranking” his viewers into thinking that the channel 5 guy, Sam Cassel, was fired on air and had defected/just shown up on Ryan’s doorstep to work for him. The whole thing made me feel vastly superior to all the retarded people across the city who were calling in to express their sadness at Sam Cassel’s “misfortune.” Then when they did the Big Reveal, Ryan pretended like he had no idea it was all fake, which just made me even madder. Ryan, you are a big important star. Stop playing silly games with these stupid people and go host the top-rated show on television.

I will, however, give props to Gmail, because they fooled me. When I went to sign in this morning, their homepage was touting their new feature, “Gmail Custom Time.” Seriously, go here and read what they wrote. For a second, I was like “WTF? This is SO wrong,” but then I realized that it was April Fools Day and it was probably illegal to do those things anyways. So ha, I am smarter than Gmail.

So last night was the episode of The Hills Bailey and I were supposed to be on. Big newsflash: we were not. I guess I understand why, because if you were to show what Heidi Montag really looks like next to two normal looking brunette people, everyone across American would shun MTV. (Hint: no hair is really that blonde and no skin is really than tan without the major aid of bleach and tanning beds.)

Ooooh, this just in. Something else I hate besides April Fools Day and surprise parties: people who show up and say “knock knock” but don’t really knock.

At work my boss told me about this hilarious blog, Stuff White People Like, which basically makes fun of all sorts of things white people either genuinely like or pretend to like in order to attain “street cred” from persons of ethnic origin. I had seen it once or twice before, but never really paid that much attention to it. Uh, big mistake. It’s hilarious and SO TRUE. Por hemplo, a small sampling of Stuff White People Like:

- Whole Foods/Grocery co-ops
- Expensive sandwiches
- Wes Anderson movies
- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart/Colbert Report
- Graduate school
- breakfast places

Breakfast places might be my favorite, because it contains this fabulous bon mot…

“In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.”

AGREED! I happen to know one such individual who shall remain nameless who began a very intense hooking-up type relationship after bringing him home on a Thursday night after dancing to the Mockingbirds. She then had breakfast with this human being at a delicious Tucson institution known as The Good Egg (which I am now sorry I mentioned because I am now craving their iced tea. What IS IT with LA not having fucking decent iced tea? Reason #76 why I am moving to Texas.) Anyways, just out of those random six, I genuinely like three (The Daily Show/Colbert Report, breakfast places, and expensive sandwiches) and am ambivalent about the others.

I am currently in the valley and need to go attempt to help Mun with my laundry (AKA, halfheartedly throw my leggings in the washing machine before she kicks me out of the laundry room), so I am off. Happy Tuesday to you all!