Thursday, August 21, 2008

Seven Fabulous Updates

So, yes. Have not blogged in basically forevs. Cut me some slack, I feel like I've been running around like a Jewish chicken with her head chopped off! This is what I'll do – I'll make a list of everything I've been wanting to talk about lately (with clever titles too!) and just go through it, one by one. Here we go!

My New Boyfriend – ah, not a real one. Calm down Mommy. My new boyfriend and current obsession is.... the one and only Michael Phelps. Granted, a week ago I did not know he existed, but I am proud to announce that I am officially in love with him. To be perfectly honest, I don't even really WATCH the Olympics (sports…far away… President Bush popping in for athletic pep talks… human rights being violated all over the place in China… meh, not my scene) but everywhere I turn the boy is all over the news,, even gossip blogs! He is gorgeous and I adore him and want him to be mine. Oh yeah, and the fact that he shattered world records like it was no big thing and has like fourteen hundred gold medals is pretty huge too.

Jennifer Greene Life Update – I am pretty sure Greene set some kind of world record for landing a job. She had literally been in Los Angeles for three days when Talya got her an interview at Seven Jeans for the Marketing Assistant position, which had been vacated that day. Within forty eight hours Greene had gone downtown, interviewed, been offered the job, and had accepted the position. Fabulous – AND she gets free Sevens! I plan on partaking :)

Abandonment – my tiny companion Bailey Janna has left me to return to that land of drunken debauchery and yellow snow, the University of Wisconsin. I feel abandoned. BJ Foumart and I had a wonderful few months together this summer and I miss her (and my f*cking black leather Gucci purse that she jacked) already. I'm counting down the days til I go and pay those crazy Badgers a visit!

Return to the Toose – speaking of drunken debauchery and paying crazy people a visit, I had the opportunity to visit Tucson for a brief 24 hours last weekend. I headed out to the desert to help AEPHI with sorority recruitment – for those of you who don't know what that is, may god have mercy on your soul. It's only my FAVORITE thing in the world – pretty girls bouncing, screaming, singing, dancing, and being fake! (I don't think I have to spell it out that I'm pretty f*cking good at it.) I literally spent fourteen straight hours inside AEPHI watching, helping, and teaching them how to cheer perfectly and my day could not have been more perfect. The sad thing is, I am so not even kidding. Ah, Tucson. I miss you already – see you in TWO MONTHS AND TWO DAYS!

Announce It Already – both of you. That's right, I'm talking to you, old Republican man and young Democrat man. I'm sick of clicking on every twelve seconds to see if one of you has made up your mind about a running mate.

Rear Ended (And Not the Good Kind) – ugh, so annoying. Yesterday I was minding my own business in my car, rocking out to some Viva La Vida and chit-chatting with Gherkin on my Bluetooth, when some a-hole hits my car. Blah blah, long story short, we pull over, get out, start inspecting the damage, and I am being relatively pleasant when the guy drops this bomb on me. "It's my fault, I'm sorry. I'm not used to driving this Jaguar – it's brand new. I just sold my Porsche last week." Um, that may have potentially been the snobbiest sentence ever uttered in Beverly Hills. I looked at him and went, "Uh, sorry! Your life sucks!"

The Birthday Girl – ME! IT'S ME! In exactly 10 days, I turn 23 years old. YAY! Presents and birthday cake (ahem, better be from SusieCakes… pay attention Greene). I am planning on celebrating at the Belmont on August 30 and I AM PUMPED!

So that's that. Before I go, I just want to say that some major life changes are in the works. So, DFWF fans, rest assured, because as soon as they start happening, I will definitely give y'all something to talk about!

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