SHE LIVES!!!!!!!!

SHE LIVES!!!!

Well, yes, that is what I like to scream whenever anyone talks about Britney Spears. But we’ll get to her in a second, because that phrase also applies to me, and this blog.

To tell you the truth, I have not been in much of a blogging mood lately… just not really feeling it, been dealing with some other stuff. But over the past week, people have been coming out of the woodwork (hello, Daniel Conroy’s mom in Memphis who I have never met?!) to tell me they missed reading my nonsense. And that is a phenomenal feeling! So, this is how it’s gonna go: you don’t have to check back every day anymore, because I am not promising one a week anymore. But keep it on your favorites (that means YOU, Jennifer Bragman), because every so often I’m gonna surprise you!

But enough about me. Let’s get to BRITNEY, YALL! The comeback is in full force, she’s back with a vengeance, and it’s her world again – we’re just living in it. Yesterday was her birthday and NOT ONLY did I rush my cute butt out to Target at lunch and bought the deluxe version of her CD (yes, you read that right, I forsook a FUCKING MEAL), but I also bought myself a little present :)

BRITNEY SPEARS CIRCUS TOUR CONCERT TICKETS!

That’s right, come April 16th, 2009, you can find me at the Staples Center with Greene Bean and Bailey J screaming my fucking head off for Brit. She lives, yall, SHE LIVES!

(On a more serious note, I am so impressed with the way she has gotten her shit together. As someone who grew up loving Britney, it was really sad watching her spiral out of control earlier this year… I know I had some fun calling her a trainwreck, but I am SO GLAD she has pulled it together. I watched her MTV documentary on Sunday night, and it really gave me some perspective on her life. I think she understands how bad she fucked up and is now doing everything she can to get back to normal. I am so happy she is surrounded by positive and supportive people who really love her and care about her. Viva la Brit FOREVER!)

I’m looking forward to some fun upcoming events… after a one-year hiatus, the Dysfunctional Family Vacation is back in full swing and in a few short weeks, the whole crew is heading for Cancun for some fun in the sun. BELIEVE ME, you’ll get a post out of that one. I’m also going to Dallas for Gerrick’s birthday and a Pat Green concert (yes, I listen to other music besides Brit.) Also, I’ll be celebrating New Years in Santa Fe with the Rubensteins at their new snow house (the winter equivalent of a beach house), which should be fab. Julie and I have lots of cheesy posed pictures, but snow is new territory for us…

Oooh, funny story before I go! Actually, this story is part of the reason why I’m blogging again – right after it happened I was like, “This shit needs to be on my blog, stat.”

So today is Brynn’s birthday (happy birthday B!) and on Monday, before our weekly Gossip Girl date, I told her to pick a place and I’d take her out to dinner. She chose 17th Street Café on Montana. Fine. She picks me up, we drive over, find a bomb parking spot, and walk into the restaurant. Right as we walk in, a man comes over and greets us.

Man: Hey!
Us: Hey!
Man: What’s going on?
Us: Um… nothing, what’s going on with you?
Man: Not too much. Hey, I’m Kevin by the way.
Us: Hi, Brynn and Jordan.
Man: SO nice to meet you guys. Where are you going to sit?
Us: Um, wherever you want to put us is fine…
Man: How about over there?
Us: Okay, sure.

Weird intro but whatever, we’re hungry so we move on. We follow him to the table. Brynn sits down, I put my bag down and go to the bathroom to pee. When I get back, Brynn is sitting there with a full glass of wine in front of her. “He gave me free wine!” she tells me. Bomb. I sit down and look around. Weirdly, the restaurant is full of older folks wearing nice clothes. No one has menus. No one is eating. I get a weird vibe.

“I think we crashed a private party,” I say.

Brynn says no. I think yes. I get up and walk to the front of the restaurant. Sure enough, in HUGE LETTERS on the front door is a sign.

"Sorry - Closed for private function."

TRUE FUCKING STORY. WE CRASHED A PRIVATE PARTY. I run back to Brynn, pull the wineglass out of her hand, and drag her to the door. On our way out, we pass Kevin. “Sorry we crashed your party,” I mumble.

HOW EMBARASSING. ONLY ME!

So that’s it, basically. Work is fine, the apartment is FABULOUS, I’ve got a hot new trainer (very sexy, does not put up with any of my bs when I complain about climbing the stairmaster, enjoys when I teach him Yiddish words like “schlep”), and a black man is our president. Life is good!

YES WE CAN AND YES WE DID!!!!!!

I can barely type this and every few minutes I start to cry because TONIGHT, I WATCHED HISTORY BE MADE!!!!!!!

For the rest of my life I will remember where I was tonight when I heard that Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States... every single time I think about the fact that our wonderful country will now be led by this truly inspiring and brilliant man, I get chills all over again.




I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! CONGRATULATIONS BARACK OBAMA... YES WE CAN AND YES WE DID!

WE'RE HERE!!!!!

Hi yall! I’m in such a great mood. This is my very first post from the new apartment!!!!!!!!!

We moved in on Saturday morning and spent the entire weekend organizing, cleaning, building, and unpacking. As a true testament to mine and Talya’s severe OCD, you will not be surprised to know that the ENTIRE APARTMENT is basically perfect already... down to things like art hung on walls and dishes drying on the dish rack! The apartment is BEAUTIFUL and we love it so much!

Here are a few pictures of my room and bathroom:

If you would like to see the rest of the photos of the apartment (and I URGE you to, because it’s fabulous), please click here. This link should work and if not, just let me know and I’ll help you get the right one!

So I promised last time I posted that I’d update yall on some fun things. Here goes!

I have a new hobby! I spend hours every week pouring over interior design magazines, blogs, and websites. It all started when Tal and I decided to move – out of NOWHERE, I got so excited about buying furniture and decorating our new place! Now I’m kind of obsessed, and keep threatening to become an interior decorator for Samuels’ Furniture… needless to say, Jacob does not like this new hobby of mine!

The High Holidays are over – Rosh Hashanah in New York was pretty bomb, me and the parentals first spent a few days in the city. I convinced them to take me to Perilla, Harold (the winner of Top Chef season 1)’s restaurant in Greenwich. It was BASICALLY AMAZING, but sadly, no Harold sighting. BUMMER. We shopped, I had a drink with CarJB, had breakfast with my love Daniel Dehrey, and saw an amazing musical – In The Heights. I’d talk about that more at length, but I’m furious because Britney Spears was in NY and saw it the day after we did. DRATS – SHE ELUDES ME AGAIN!

Actual services and fam time were nice as usual, nothing major, but it was fun seeing everyone in Long Island. Highlights included throwing the kids in the car for a trip to White Castle for white trash baby hamburgers and second night Rosh Hashanah din at, drumroll please…. RUTHS CHRIS! Just like our ancestors did, right!?

We spent Yom Kips at home – Greene Bean was an honorary Silverwoman for the holiday and came to temple to see me speak! I think I did a fairly good job J wasn’t nervous at all and wore a bomb new dress! Was a fairly good day, except for the whole not-eating thing. When break fast finally rolled around, I ate so much I literally made myself sick – Adam Stern came over to chat and I almost barfed on the poor guy’s shoes. I am a CLASS ACT.

Oh, I totally forgot to update about the trip to Cabo! Let’s put it this way – it didn’t happen. We checked the weather the day before we left and discovered a nice little surprise – a Category 4 Hurricane. So, to make a long story short, we canceled the trip and headed off to Palm Springs for a long weekend instead. It ended up being quite the nice little vacay – we used to have a house in PS before we had the Newport house, and we hadn’t been back in years. It was fun seeing and doing all the things we used to do! We swam, tanned, went to a flea market, ate large amounts of food,…All in all, a typical entertaining Silverman family vacay… there was even a stop at Hadleys for AMAZING date shakes and a little retardation/incident in a Chick-fil-a parking lot.

To be perfectly honest, all of these other things are quite interesting, but none of them compares to what I’ve really been thinking/obsessing/dreaming about for the past few months….

HOMECOMING 2008. THIS WEEKEND. TUCSON, ARIZONA. BE THERE OR BE SORRY!

Yes ladies and gents, this weekend is MOTHER FUCKING HOMECOMING. There are not enough exclamation points in the world to explain how excited we (yes, the royal we, it includes basically all Arizona Wildcats) all are. Expect a full recap sometime next week when I get back... it may take a while for me to recover from the gallons of alcohol I plan on drinking, but rest assured, I’ll update all of you with plenty of stories and photos.

I’m off to slumber in my amazing new sheets. BEAR DOWN BITCHES!!!!

An Acrostic for Bragman

REAL QUICK -- Bragman is STILL complaining about my lack of updates, so this is for you Brag. I love you!

B - BLOOMIN ONION seller :)
R - raging alcoholic

A - always down for a shotfest any time of day

G - gorgeous
M - makes me take her out to dinner whenever she cries

A - awesome at nearly everything she does

N - nice to anyone who buys her a drink!

Ooooh, I love acrostics :) Anyone want me to do one with their name?! Okay, I'm going for real now. CIAO!

Believe Me, I Know...

Believe me, I know. If you're reading this, you're mad at me (Bragman, Serena, etc...). I would be mad at me too -- I haven't updated in WEEKS! I am SO sorry.

Things in my life that have been crazy:

1. I went to New York for a week

2. My boss came back to work

3. I am in the midst of packing up my apartment for move-in day next week

4. Tomorrow is Yom Kippur and I am speaking at temple in front of like a thousand people

5. On Friday I leave for five days in CABO!

Don't get me wrong, I am beyond thrilled about all of those things... October is shaping up to be a great month! I promise when I get back and things calm down a bit, I will update on all those things and many others (my new hobby! My opinion on the VP debate! Photos of the new apartment! The Second Installment of The Tale of the Great Chair Debacle of 2008 - The Removal! All this AND MORE!)

But for now, I'm off to blowdry my hair and lug garbage bags full of shit my mom is making me toss out to the trash... fancy times in the life of Jordan Marisa.

Shanah tovah and g'mar hatima tovah to everyone who is reading this!

Happy new year, have an easy fast, and may you be inscribed in the Book of Life!

This May Be My Longest Post Yet!

Before you even think it, I KNOW I'VE BEEN SO MIA! Ahem. My apologies to all those in the blogosphere. I actually do have a legitimate excuse, and though it pains me to admit it, I will share it with all of you.

I joined an effing gym. Ugh. I am now one of THOSE people. Everyone keeps asking me how I feel and if I like it. The answer is this: I do NOT like it and would much rather be lying on the couch singing songs, but know it is for my general health and well being so I will continue to go. The mere act of putting sneakers on and lacing them up makes me feel very athletic, so we shall see how this goes… my trainer is (of course) this teeny blond little midge… I can’t decide if that’s inspiring or infuriating.

God, so much has happened since I last blogged! I’ll fill all yall in, and make it an extra special long post to boot… here are some TOTALLY RANDOM yet fabulous updates and ruminations from the dark mind of Jordan Marisa:

Since the last time I updated, I have been on KIIS FM’s morning show not once, but TWICE! To make a long story short, I listen to KIIS every morning on my way to work – Ryan Seacrest and his sidekick Ellen Kay are hilarious and I love them. They do this regular feature called Ryan’s Roses about once a week – basically, a girl who thinks her husband or boyfriend is cheating on her calls in and explains her problem, and Ryan has someone on his staff call the guy and offer him a free dozen roses to see who he offers him to… his girl or someone else! Usually, the guy is totally cheating and the girl cries her little heart out on air and makes everyone uncomfortable, but the last two Ryan’s Roses were actually really interesting and worth commenting on… so I called in and commented! Both times they picked up right away and put me through. You might think that’s lame, but can YOU say you talked to Ryan Seacrest before you had your morning coffee?!

Last week I wrote this awesome post all about Sarah Palin, and right as I was about to put it up, I reread it and decided it barely scratched the tip of the iceberg of everything I wanted to comment on. So, instead, I will say nothing about Sarah Palin here – if you are truly interested in my thoughts about her I’d be happy to rant and rave in person. And if you haven’t watched the SNL skit where Tina Fey BRILLIANTLY channels Her Craziness, click here right now and stop reading my blog. There are more important things for you to be doing.

(I will say this: well done, Bristol Palin! You are the new Jamie Lynn Spears. I was wondering who would corner the teenage mother contingency now that JL has gone and birthed her tot, so I’m glad you filled the slot up real fast.)

Moving on! Two weeks ago I had the incredible opportunity to attend the opening of the BRAND NEW Neiman Marcus in the VALLEY! It was super fab – I wore my brand new MaxMara dress and felt very fancy. The opening party was the night before the actual store opened to the public, so the parentals and I just sashayed around the store for a few hours, eating delicious appeteasers (the dumplings in the men’s section and the lobster finger sandwiches in the shoe salon were particularly excellent) and oohing and ahhing over the clothes and jewels.

I am also proud to note that I made a friend in the adorable gay who runs the contemporary section, who snuck me over to a register and allowed me to make a purchase! AMAZING – I am one of the very first people to ever buy anything from that store! I think he sensed we were going to be doing a lot of hanging out :) Anyways, look what I got!

Today at lunch, Teddy, Jessie and I went to the Farmer’s Market. Though the pastrami sandwich and the company were good, the highlight was definitely when a bird shat on Teddy’s plate, right as he was about to take a bite of his food. I laughed so hard I cried and almost fell off my chair. It’s moments like that that make me desperately wish for my own reality TV show.

Speaking of TV, fall programming has really been quite hit or miss lately. Gossip Girl continues to be the most amazing show that has ever existed (I literally sit in my room alone and whisper to myself at commercials, “Best. Show. Ever.”). 90210 is predictable and lame but of course I am sucked into it. Every season I think there is no way on earth Tyra Banks can top last year’s crazy – but she wows me every single year, with this year’s Top Model group including a fucking TRANNY! Excellent. Anyways, the best part of it all is exactly a week from tonight, Grey’s Anatomy and the Office return – I CAN’T WAIT!

Last weekend, a mini Arizona reunion occurred at Happy Endings – or should I say in the Happy Endings parking lot? For some reason, the bar was at overflow, and instead of turning people away, they simply roped off the parking lot, put a few PortaPotty outside, and set up a makeshift bar! Commence drinking for all Wildcats in attendance. Highlights included a run-in with an ex boyfriend from elementary school (Me: “Hi! What’s new?” He: “Oh, you know… I’m kinda gay.” Terrific.) and a strange compliment from a random (“That is the most dramatic exit from a PortaPotty I have ever seen.”) It was one of the most fun nights I’ve had in a while… complete with drama, dancing, and a 2am walk across the street to In&Out!

Pictures from that evening will be up soon – everyone must be sure and note my AMAZING tan! The night before, Greene and I went spray tanning in Santa Monica and the results were pretty damn fabulous. I never again have to subject myself to potential skin cancer – I’m just gonna hit up Chocolate Sun off Main Street and be a perfectly bronzed beauty! Love it.

While we’re on the subject of things I love – MISS BRITNEY JEAN SPEARS ROCKED THE SHIT OUT OF THE VMAS. Oh my god, from the second she walked onstage, I literally almost had tears in my eyes. She looked AMAZING – exactly like old Britney! I was so proud of her! The only bummer was that every single one of her thank-you speeches (for the THREE awards she won!) was exactly the same… girlfriend needs a new speech writer. I’ll happily volunteer. Long live BRIT!

Got a busy weekend ahead of me – tomorrow night I am going to the Dodger Game with the parentals and GB. Saturday, I’ll be at the UCLA/Arizona game – the last time I went to a football game I literally tumbled down the entire row of stairs and landed facedown in the first bleacher. Needless to say, I wasn’t too anxious to go back, but I couldn’t resist a day of drunken debauchery with some fellow Wildcats. Saturday night I have to work – the Federation is holding our annual comedy night at the brand new Laugh Factory and Comedy Hall of Fame in Long Beach, and I have to be there to deal with press and media. It’ll be okay though – Dane Cook is scheduled to perform! (Cue Greene peeing her pants in excitement).

I’m out. BEAR DOWN BITCHES!

Movin' On Up!

Happy Wednesday, ya’ll! I’m in such a good mood. Let’s get to it!

So this is my very first blog post as a 23 year old woman! The birthday weekend was fun – I got some AMAZING presents from my kind and generous family and friends, including Jimmy Choo sunglasses, a Chan Luu bracelet, new Free City sweats, and a Build-A-Bear (don’t ask.)

Saturday night I celebrated with dinner and drinks at the Belmont with all my friends, which ended in me ordering WAY too many mojitos and having to be taken home around 1:30am. Sunday, which was my actual birthday, I went out to brunch and then shopping in Beverly Hills, where I treated myself to a new Vince leather jacket (AMAZING. CANNOT WAIT FOR IT TO GET COLD HERE IN LA!) I then headed home to the valley, where I joined my parents at Elianna and Sara’s wedding, which was so nice – I’m really glad I went. I had never been to a gay wedding, nor had I ever been to a rabbi’s wedding, and the ceremony (which Elianna wrote herself) was so beautiful and the atmosphere was just so welcoming and accepting of all. Also, the delicious appetizers did not hurt the day either. Monday I hung out with Mommy and went shopping and ended the weekend with a parental-sponsored dinner at Taverna Tony’s in Malibu, where me and some special guest stars stuffed our faces with Greek food, and Greene brought me a Susie Cakes birthday cake! I love you GB! All in all a very pleasant birthday celebration all around.

Speaking of birthdays, on Monday the CW gave me a slightly belated birthday present – the long awaited Gossip Girl premiere! AND IT. WAS. FUCKING. FABULOUS. Literally I cannot even put into words how much I adore Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass. Their chemistry is so fucking hot. Their clothes are so fucking hot. The storylines are so fucking hot. This show is SO FUCKING HOT.

As long as we’re talking about TV (and amazingly ridiculous yet unrealistic shows aimed towards teenagers), I may as well give my opinion on the new 90210 that I watched last night. In a word – fine. Nowhere near as amazing as Gossip Girl, and kind of predictable, but then again, I think I was like 11 years old when the first 90210 came out. It started off kind of slow but got better over the course of the two-hour premiere… I didn’t get many of the inside jokes/references to the first 90210, but I’ll definitely watch next week. If its good, I’ll stick around!

(Side note: I thought the best part of 90210 was Naomi the popular mean girl. Then I realized I think the best part of Gossip Girl is Blair Waldorf, the popular mean girl. And then I realized my favorite movie of all time is… Mean Girls, featuring THE Popular Mean Girl, Regina George. Uh oh. I sense a trend. My mom is not gonna like that psychoanalysis.)

What else is going on around here? Let’s talk about some upcoming trips:
-Homecoming is in less than 7 weeks. F YES!
- Gerrick informed me that she is probably coming to visit in November, and I am planning on going to Dallas for a mini U of A reunion in December, so I’m excited about that :) lots of Gherkin time coming up soon!
- I finally booked my trip to New York with the parentals for Rosh Hashanah! We’re gonna stay in the city for the weekend, then head out to Long Island for temple and Jewishness on Monday. Hopefully I will get to see my NY friends and go out with them in the city along with the Broadway shows and gourmet dining I already have planned :) that’s in three weeks and I can’t wait!

And finally, I saved the best news for last… I’M MOVING!

Yep, Tal and I are packing up the Bodies in Motion on Goshen apartment and heading out – really far… all the way up to Montana Avenue! :) We’re moving to that big beautiful white apartment building right behind Whole Foods and Pinkberry, and we are SO EXCITED!

Things I can’t wait for:
1. buying all new furniture
2. decorating the new apartment
3. living in the same building (literally next door!) as Amanda Baker
4. my own bathTUB
5. a washer/dryer inside our apartment
6. AIR CONDITIONING!!!! FUCKING FINALLY!!!!!

We aren’t moving for another month – middle of October – but we’re planning on throwing a big party as soon as we get settled so all of you can see our new gorgeous place! This has been in the works for a few weeks already (ask me for the full, kind-of-unbelievable-story) and today our application finally got approved – SO EXCITING!

And on that positive happy note, I am off :) hope everyone is enjoying their week!

My Last Post as a 22 Year Old!

Hello friends and fans :)

It’s almost Friday! I am excited for the long weekend. I’ve got lots of fun things planned… because it’s my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

I’ll fill you in on all the birthday happenings next week when I blog. I’ve got a dinner, a bar night out, a brunch, and a parental-sponsored evening, all to celebrate the big Two Three! I can’t wait!

Anyways, we’ve got other things to discuss. To tell you the truth, I haven’t watched one minute of DNC coverage. It’s surprising – you’d think a die hard liberal like myself would be all over it. I can’t help it, I’m just not in love with Obama. Don’t get me wrong, of course I’m voting for him, but something about him just rubs me the wrong way. It’s weird. I am very happy he chose Joe Biden to be his VP, by the way – I was bummed that he didn’t choose Hillary, but I think an Obama/Biden ticket will be very strong in the end. Now let’s see who the old man chooses!

Today I drove down to Bergamot Station in Santa Monica with Monise and Pam, my friends and co- MOL staff, to see this exhibit of photographs that detail the Nazi’s obsessive records of the Holocaust. This photographer, a Los Angeles based surgeon named Richard Ehrlich, got special permission to tour the archives that house more than 50 million papers documenting the Holocaust and the Nazi’s Final Solution. I urge you to read all about the exhibit in this LA Times article or in this Jewish Journal article.

The exhibit was sickening – the photographs, of course, were beautifully shot, but the subject matter was just horrifying. I have said it before – the Holocaust is the type of thing where the more you know, the less you know, and it really rang true for me while I was looking at these pictures. How can you look at a list of Jewish prisoners who were shot, one by one, every two minutes, in honor of Hitler’s birthday -- how can you look at that list and think you can comprehend the Holocaust?

Before going on the March, I probably would have been interested in this exhibit, but would never have gone. Now that I’ve seen it for myself, I have a compulsion to learn as much as I possibly can about the Holocaust – I read books, study online, and watch documentaries. I am lucky that I have friends in LA who not only understand my need for knowledge about it, but share it as well. If you are reading this and you are ever interested in going to see a Holocaust film or exhibit, please let me know – I am always looking to expand my knowledge on the topic.

I have a new strange obsession – don’t laugh! For some reason, I stumbled upon a collection of blogs on the internet written by young Southern women in their twenties and thirties… and I AM OBSESSED. I read them EVERY DAY. It is so weird – like why do I care about Megan, the twenty-five year old blonde Southern Baptist in Memphis, Tennessee and her obsession with Lily Pulitzer?! Every time I go read one of their blogs, I get sucked in and there goes an hour. I know. I need help. I’m so bizarre.

Speaking of blogs… I am thinking of giving mine a facelift (I got rid of the music – it drove me nuts every time I went on here to update, so I can just imagine how much all of yall hated it! Sorry!) Anyways, I just heard of this person who does custom blog designs – she would design a whole new look for Don’t Fuck With Fabulous, specifically tailored to colors and designs that I like! It sounds so cool, but I know I’ve been slacking lately on keeping up with this, so I’m not gonna let myself do it until I get back into the swing of posting regularly… ie, at least twice a week. So if you see me fucking around on the internet, MAKE me blog, because I really want to get this custom update!

Before I go, I must wish my darling parental units a VERY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY as they celebrate THIRTY YEARS OF MARRIAGE TOGETHER!!!!

My parents are truly the best human beings I know and I am so lucky to have them in my life. I wish them the best anniversary ever and hope the next thirty years will be just as good as the first! I LOVE YOU BOTH!

Well, I am off. The next time I blog I will be 23 years old! :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Seven Fabulous Updates

So, yes. Have not blogged in basically forevs. Cut me some slack, I feel like I've been running around like a Jewish chicken with her head chopped off! This is what I'll do – I'll make a list of everything I've been wanting to talk about lately (with clever titles too!) and just go through it, one by one. Here we go!

My New Boyfriend – ah, not a real one. Calm down Mommy. My new boyfriend and current obsession is.... the one and only Michael Phelps. Granted, a week ago I did not know he existed, but I am proud to announce that I am officially in love with him. To be perfectly honest, I don't even really WATCH the Olympics (sports…far away… President Bush popping in for athletic pep talks… human rights being violated all over the place in China… meh, not my scene) but everywhere I turn the boy is all over the news, CNN.com, even gossip blogs! He is gorgeous and I adore him and want him to be mine. Oh yeah, and the fact that he shattered world records like it was no big thing and has like fourteen hundred gold medals is pretty huge too.

Jennifer Greene Life Update – I am pretty sure Greene set some kind of world record for landing a job. She had literally been in Los Angeles for three days when Talya got her an interview at Seven Jeans for the Marketing Assistant position, which had been vacated that day. Within forty eight hours Greene had gone downtown, interviewed, been offered the job, and had accepted the position. Fabulous – AND she gets free Sevens! I plan on partaking :)

Abandonment – my tiny companion Bailey Janna has left me to return to that land of drunken debauchery and yellow snow, the University of Wisconsin. I feel abandoned. BJ Foumart and I had a wonderful few months together this summer and I miss her (and my f*cking black leather Gucci purse that she jacked) already. I'm counting down the days til I go and pay those crazy Badgers a visit!

Return to the Toose – speaking of drunken debauchery and paying crazy people a visit, I had the opportunity to visit Tucson for a brief 24 hours last weekend. I headed out to the desert to help AEPHI with sorority recruitment – for those of you who don't know what that is, may god have mercy on your soul. It's only my FAVORITE thing in the world – pretty girls bouncing, screaming, singing, dancing, and being fake! (I don't think I have to spell it out that I'm pretty f*cking good at it.) I literally spent fourteen straight hours inside AEPHI watching, helping, and teaching them how to cheer perfectly and my day could not have been more perfect. The sad thing is, I am so not even kidding. Ah, Tucson. I miss you already – see you in TWO MONTHS AND TWO DAYS!

Announce It Already – both of you. That's right, I'm talking to you, old Republican man and young Democrat man. I'm sick of clicking on CNN.com every twelve seconds to see if one of you has made up your mind about a running mate.

Rear Ended (And Not the Good Kind) – ugh, so annoying. Yesterday I was minding my own business in my car, rocking out to some Viva La Vida and chit-chatting with Gherkin on my Bluetooth, when some a-hole hits my car. Blah blah, long story short, we pull over, get out, start inspecting the damage, and I am being relatively pleasant when the guy drops this bomb on me. "It's my fault, I'm sorry. I'm not used to driving this Jaguar – it's brand new. I just sold my Porsche last week." Um, that may have potentially been the snobbiest sentence ever uttered in Beverly Hills. I looked at him and went, "Uh, sorry! Your life sucks!"

The Birthday Girl – ME! IT'S ME! In exactly 10 days, I turn 23 years old. YAY! Presents and birthday cake (ahem, better be from SusieCakes… pay attention Greene). I am planning on celebrating at the Belmont on August 30 and I AM PUMPED!

So that's that. Before I go, I just want to say that some major life changes are in the works. So, DFWF fans, rest assured, because as soon as they start happening, I will definitely give y'all something to talk about!

Adventures with Olive

Here I am, dear DFWF readers. I’ve been off in foreign lands and out and about :) so let’s get to it, shall we?

First things first – Greene is here! YAY! She is living with me for the next two weeks until her apartment is ready. I am so happy she is here and will continue to be happy she is here so long as she keeps her suitcases OUT of my room. (You know how everyone has a thing? Well, my thing is I cannot handle anyone’s suitcases in my room. It’s bizarre. I know.)

So, I know it’s already Wednesday, but I want to post about my weekend! Irritatingly, the weekend got off to an annoying start when, after returning home from the Dodger game on Friday night (the first game featuring Manny Ramirez – Bailey and I had no idea who he was but screamed happily for him everytime he appeared on the field, just like every other Dodger fan there. What can we say, we like being a part of the excitement), it was discovered someone had broken into my dad’s car and stolen his watch, my mom’s sunglasses, and my car keys. Therefore, I have no car nor house keys and have been driving my mom’s car, which I hate. Had to vent about the annoyingness of that, but let’s move on.

We had a super weekend in Vegas – we stayed at the Paris, which shall henceforth be known as “GAY PAREE” – Bailey and I walked around the entire hotel speaking in French accents and annoying the parentals. Now that I’m thinking about it, we seriously did have a very fun time hanging out, shopping, eating, and gambling. When we got there, the parentals took us to Mon Ami Gabi inside Paris for lunch, which we loved and Bailey got the first of what would be six ahi tuna salads over the next four days. Saturday night we tried Aquaknox for the first time (it’s a seafood restaurant in the Venetian) and saw Jersey Boys, which was phenomenal, as usual. On Sunday, we had lunch at Todd English’s Olives inside the Bellagio, where Bailey decided her new nickname was going to be Bailey Olive. She also hid a note underneath a pillar outside the Bellagio Prada store for her friend Mike to find next week when he comes to Vegas, even though I patiently pointed out that the Bellagio employs a staff of about six thousand people, one of whom will surely find and remove said note before he gets there. We shopped at Fashion Show Mall and had dinner at the always-amazing Craftsteak inside the MGM on Sunday night, and on Monday we did a little tour through the Forum Shops and had lunch at Daddy’s fave the Palm before sadly leaving the Veg and its 108 degree weather.

I did not mention the best part, however…

I WON $450 BUCKS ON A PENNY SLOT! Hot Hot Penny is THE BEST slot machine ever, ANDDDDDD so is Go Fish (I can just SEE Julie and Anna nodding in agreement as they read this). It was AMAZING – I NEVER leave Vegas with money in my pocket!

What else is new… last night the Silverman family reunited with the Rubenstein family, who are in Huntington Beach on a fam vacay… we drove down to our Newport house for the night to have dinner there with them and it was super fun! Greene and Anna came too, so it was a mini Arizona reunion… we love when that happens!

Other news:
- Jeremy got a PUPPY! His name is Duncan Mandel and he is a baby golden retriever and he is super cute. Apparently he barks all the time and doesn’t let Jeremy sleep. I am glad for once someone else is causing him grief besides me.

- If you have not seen the People magazine with the Jolie-Pitt twins on the cover, go out and buy it right now, NOT for the photos of the newborn babies, but instead for the photo of one Miss Shiloh Jolie-Pitt holding her new baby sister. After seeing this photograph, Shiloh is now officially on my list of top three most adorable celebrity babies (her counterparts include Violet Affleck and Suri Cruise). Seriously, could this kid BE any cuter?

- I will be SO lonely the next few weeks at work – my boss is out on maternity leave, David is on his book tour on the east coast, and Mitch is going on vacation next week! I am all alone in my corner of the office :( thank god Jessie and Teddy are back from staffing their Birthright trip… for a while there I think I was the only staff-member in her twenties in the entire building.

- Homecoming is less than 3 months away! I know that that’s a ridiculously long time, but I am ridiculously excited. Expect frequent countdowns and updates as the weekend draws nearer… yesterday Anna, Greene, and I may or may not have planned out all our meals in advance… yes, we know we are sick. We don’t care – BEYOND BREAD here we come!

I am heading back to Newport again on Friday… Bailey Olive is really tan (because she does NOTHING all day except lay on the beach = hard life), and I am extremely jealous, so I am planning on doing nothing but sleeping on the sand for the entire weekend.

Will blog again soon. Until then, stay classy, Los Angeles :)